This might be goodbye KP!

I’m waiting to board a flight to Ningbo. I’m not sure if this site will be available in mainland China or not. If it isn’t I want you to know how greatly appreciative I’ve been to have you in my life. Someday we’ll meet again I’m sure.

The last few days in Hong Kong have been wonderful. I do really like this place. It’s been great staying with A and getting to stay in such a spacious, beautiful apartment. I hope to make it back soon. Or relatively soon. I’m a bit nervous about being in mainland China, but it’ll be an experience and if I absolutely hate it I can always just leave. I’m no ones slave, that’s for sure.

Gratitude List:
Kittenparachutes
New adventures, new friends and a life well lived
No longer being homeless

Today was a wonderful gift. I had such a great time wandering around Nara and all the beautiful temples and countryside. I feel a real connection to this place. The people, the natural beauty, and the structures just all make sense. I’m so grateful I decided to take this trip.

Yesterday was a pretty monumental day which I don’t think I mentioned in the update last night. Yesterday was the day I went from ‘what do I believe’ to ‘I believe.’ This is a major shift for me. I’m someone who can hardly make up his mind about what to order for dinner (so many choices!) so coming to the definitive conclusion that I do believe in God, Buddha, Sonten, etc, is a pretty big deal. Today I felt a much deeper connection to GBM. It’s nice to finally have her in my life.

I also bought a whole bunch of bracelets! I love them all. Woot woot!

And afterwards I relaxed in an onsen for a couple hours. It was a great, and relaxing, day.

I also ate dinner at this place in Nara and ended up chatting with this really nice woman while eating. During dinner, the song “Can Change the World” by Eric Clapton came on the radio. It’s been running through my head these past few days and it made me realize that I’ll never be able to figure out everything on my own. I need the help and guidance from the people around me. And, unless I reach out for that help I won’t be able to make it. Of course I’ll try to return the favor as well.

Gratitude List:
Onsen
New bracelets
A wonderful dinner

Kyoto is such an amazing place. I had an amazing day. Life changing, really.

After a few false starts, I figured out how to get to Mount Kurama. There is a temple and a trail I hiked that wandered through the mountains. As soon as I got to the temple I could just feel that it was a sacred place. Felt a bit familiar, too. I hiked the entire trail taking my time to stop at most of the shrines and buildings set up along the way. It was a bit surreal – magical, really. Once I’d hiked the trail I turned back around and hiked back to the town where I started. It took much less time on the way back.

Once I got back to town I went to an onsen in Kurama. That, too, was a great experience. It was basically a hot spring pool that you can sit in. The view of the mountains was amazing and it felt wonderful after being on my feet for so many hours hiking all around the mountain. The other thing about the onsen is that you’re completely nude while there. I got a towel that wasn’t really a towel – it didn’t cover anything, but it wasn’t supposed to, either. I felt a lot more comfortable being naked there than I thought I would. I think since there was nothing sexual about it. It’s not like being at the gym or a gay sauna where there’s a very real chance of rejection. This place wasn’t about sex or hooking up in any way so there was no fear of rejection. That said, there were about 10 different guys there in the 2 hours or so I spent soaking that I totally would have fooled around with. I tried not to stare, but it was hard not to look a little. Hot men always makes my gaydd kick in. And a few of these guys were really hot – and very naked. Anyway, all in all the day was amazing. I’m exhausted now and certain to sleep well tonight. I’m planning on getting up in the morning and maybe biking around Kyoto. I was thinking about taking a train to Nara, but I’d really like to research some things to do there first and have a plan. I’m not sure I’m up for making a plan at this point since I really just want to sleep.

I almost forgot – after the onsen I found a restaurant in the Geisha district and had a nice meal for dinner. I haven’t spent that much on a meal in a really long time. It was really delicious and well worth it, though. I’m totally glad I made that decision.

There is one other notable thing that happened today. I walked by this mercedes thinking about how I don’t see numbers everywhere here like I did in Thailand. When I looked at the license plate it was 14-8 and as soon as I saw the number it started spinning and flew away (in my mind’s eye, that is). It was incredibly beautiful to see it spin. I’ve never seen anything like that before. It reminded me a lot of being manic and throwing bottles in the air and catching them so I could watch them spin. And also the day I tried to draw the wind. It reminded me of that, too.

Gratitude List:
Coming home
Being able to be naked around people without extreme judgment of myself on my part
A yummy meal – if not a bit expensive

Hey KP!

I’m in Kyoto, Japan. I really like this place. After spending so many months in Thailand I didn’t think any Asian city could be charming, but Kyoto is most certainly charming. I saw a temple today and got a reiki treatment. Both were really great. The temple was so peaceful and serene. Unlike the thai temples in nearly every way. And get this: I got to wear a jacket most of the day! It rained, but I didn’t mind much. Tomorrow I’ve got some really fun things planned as well. I also really like the hostel I’m staying in now. I’m moving to a different one tomorrow that I think I’ll like quite a bit as well.

I’ll come back again soon and chat more!

Gratitude List:
A peaceful day
Some emotional truths
Reiki

First full day back in Hong Kong and it was a busy one. I got the medical check completed this morning. It really wasn’t too bad and it ended up costing me less than I’d expected which I’m grateful for. After the medical check I went to a meeting that had some really warm, welcoming people. I’m planning to go back to that meeting. If I were to stick around in HK it’s certainly a group I could get to know and really like. After the meeting I wandered around this big garden with a conservatory, aviary and man made lakes (ok, ponds really). It was beautiful and I especially liked the conservatory that had a show on fragrant plants. Walking into that room and smelling all the beautiful smells was certainly a highlight of my entire day.

This evening I met up with AP and got dinner. We wandered around Kowloon and it was really nice. I’m lonely and tired from not sleeping well last night (or long enough) which has skewed my emotions into fragile territory. I’m going to bed soon and planning to sleep longer tonight so that tomorrow will go a bit smoother. I really enjoyed today, but I can tell I’m just slightly off from not getting enough sleep last night and all the walking I did today.

I’m meeting AP in the morning and we are going to do something. I’m headed up to where he is staying and bringing my suitcase that he has so graciously said he can store while I’m in Japan. Speaking of Japan, I can’t wait. I decided I should get a reiki treatment while there. While researching that a little I realized I’m going to be so close to the birthplace of reiki. Perhaps that was where my fixation to on making it to Japan is coming from – a need for a pilgrimage of sorts to where it all started. Or if not started, somewhere I’ve already been. I have a feeling, and I’m giving myself some leeway on sounding crazy right now since I don’t do it often enough, that I’ve been working on figuring out this mystery of life for much longer than this one, relatively short incarnation I’ve had as myself. My gut tells me I’m meant to pick up where I left off, but in order to do that some truths from the past will need to bubble up to the surface so going forward I’ll be on sound footing. I think that’s what Japan is really about: reclaiming what’s been mine in the past. A repatriation of the soul.

Gratitude List:
Impromptu qi gong class in the room at the hostel
AP and all his help right now
Being tired after a busy day

I’m at the airport waiting to board a flight to Hong Kong. I’m so excited about being back there and my upcoming trip to Japan.

I’ve got a lot of mixed emotions about leaving Thailand. This place has been my home for the past 5 months. I’ve hit some rough patches here, but for the most part it’s been good. I saw my thai friend yesterday – lunch, massages and movie day. I’m going to miss them. As well as the comfort and security of SB’s apartment. Last night I took a leisurely walk home through Lumpini park. I knew I still had to pack, but I wanted to say goodbye to Bangkok. Once I got home I had the hardest time getting myself to pack and then when I woke up this morning I had this feeling of dread inside me. I’m so excited about being back in Hong Kong and living out my dreams – especially my upcoming visit to Japan. I really can’t figure out where the sense of dread is coming from. There is a lot of uncertainty in my near future which could be it, but I’ve gotten so much better at rolling with uncertainty that I really don’t think that’s it. If I had to guess, which I don’t, but I will, I’d say it’s about the uncharted territory of dating again that I feel very close to. I do plan to date once I’m settled. It’s hard, though, since I’m pretty uncomfortable with my body right now. I will keep in mind what JS told me in a dream and just take it slow. I don’t need to jump into bed with someone and don’t think that behavior will lead me to a boyfriend. Plus, I don’t plan to date anyone without a kind heart and any guy I’d want to date will be wiling to wait until I’m ready to take it to the sex stage. I’d certainly give someone I wanted to date all the time they needed to prepare for sex. It’s unfair of me not to give myself the same accommodation.

I talked to both my brothers about an hour ago. It was nice, but really drove home the fact that we’re all living such different lives right now. Or rather, that I’m choosing to live my life differently. Running all around the world, really. My older brother is doing a good job in my opinion of trying to get to where he wants to be, a better place, one of fulfillment and happiness, but my twin brother is floundering a bit. I see him reaching, hoping for something more, something better. I think he’ll get there, in time. Everything should be figured out in time.

Gratitude List:
SB and all his kindness
Getting to talk to my brothers today
Saying farewell to Thailand and the wonderful adventure I’ve had exploring this country. I may not have any trinkets from here, but I’ll cherish the memories, for a lifetime.

I’ve actually had a really productive day. Well, not really that productive, but I’ve been able to do a bunch of things I wanted to do before leaving Bangkok.

One of them was getting dinner with S. It was really nice. I got to thank him and sit and talk. He’s such a kind person and he’s definitely someone I could learn a lot from. I feel I have learned a lot from him, despite not having spent that much time with him. I’m really, really grateful for all he’s done for me.

I also went to the Grand Palace, got a two hour massage and saw a movie today. All things I’d been hoping to do. In addition, I booked a flight to Japan. I looked last night and figured I’d sleep on it and then today it was clear I should go. Unfortunately I got an email from the director of studies at the school where I’ll be working and it sounds like the visa might get processed on their end a little faster. Since I haven’t heard anything in over a week I decided to just book the flight anyway. Nothing was definite on his end and I’ll be signing a year contract to work for the school so taking a couple extra days to visit Japan seems like a good idea. I’d still be back in Hong Kong and able to get the visa processed earlier than the initial time estimate. Financially it would be a better idea for me to get to China and start working ASAP, but oh well. That’ll all work out. I’m happy with this decision and I can’t wait to explore Japan for 8 days! Yay!

Gratitude List:
Going to Japan!
Saying goodbye to Bangkok and my friends here
Sleeping in

I had a good weekend. It was bit tiring being around Thai people and listening to them speak so much Thai – exhausting, really, but I enjoyed the weekend a lot. It was great to hang out with S and get to meet her friends. I’m glad that she invited me.

I’m thinking more seriously about going to Japan. I could fly there for a week and pay a little over $300 for the flight. I’ve begun to realize just how much time I’m going to have in Hong Kong. I’ll be there on 10/10 and my work visa might not be fully processed for another 3 weeks. I think I’d really love Japan. I’m going to sleep on it and see. I’m not sure I have the appetite for putting more unneeded flights on my credit card. I think once I’m in Japan I’d find that things were comparably priced with Hong Kong so I’m reasoning that it’s really only the flight. Plus, if I spent a week in Japan I’d still have over a week (or more) in Hong Kong. We’ll see how I feel about it in the morning.

Gratitude List:
Final few days in Bangkok
A relaxing weekend
Numbers

Another day closer to leaving Thailand. Such mixed emotions about it all. On the one hand I’m really ready to go. I can’t stay here forever and I have no intention of finding a job here. It’s been great being here, but change and uncertainty are always a bit daunting. It’ll be good though. Plus, I’m wicked excited about being back in Hong Kong.

Today was a really wonderful day. I’m so grateful for today. I was looking at the bikes near the front desk earlier and asked the woman if I could just take one. She held up her hand in the universal “just one second” and then disappeared into the building. A couple minutes later she comes outside with a mountain bike. The other bikes would have been alright for a short, slow ride, but not nearly as much fun as a mountain bike. I ended up biking down this road that runs along the beach and it was so wonderful. I haven’t been biked in so long and there’s nothing better than being out on a bike feeling the wind and enjoying the day. The scenery was also beyond beautiful. I couldn’t have asked for a better activity today. Round trip the bike ride ended up being around 30 miles so I was pretty tired by the time I got back. I’ll certainly sleep well tonight!

Gratitude List:
A mountain bike and a beautiful ride along the coast
S and more time relaxing with all her friends
Delicious food

This is my first anniversary of my last day of work! I can’t believe it’s been a year already. I’m not really sure where the time has gone. It’s been such a remarkable year. I’m so grateful for the time I spent living at M and M’s and being able to explore NJ and NYC. I’m also really grateful for the 4.5 months in Thailand. I’ve made some really awesome friends since leaving the US. I’m also really excited about going to China and starting the next phase of my life. I deserve to be happy and am finally seeking out that happiness. Everything else will fall into place.

I’m with S this weekend at her friend’s family’s resort. It was such a fun day driving down here followed by a really nice evening hanging out and meeting her friends. It makes me miss mine, but these Thai people are all really nice. I’m really grateful to be having this experience – and to be back with you, KP.

Gratitude List:
S and all her great friends
A relaxing drive
Hope for the future