I was tired most of the day and didn’t end up eating. It threw off my mindset considerably. I also wasn’t able to practice my morning reiki. I feel much better now that I’m home and have eaten a shit ton of eggs.

My class was pretty fun. I think I’ll really like it. The other students all seem really nice, too. There are quite a few guys in the class and they are all pretty good looking.

I’m hoping to see the guy from last night again tomorrow. I wish I could fall asleep next to him again tonight – feel him and hold him tight. Hopefully it’ll work to do that tomorrow. He’s adorable and he has an accent. How wonderful.

Gratitude List:
Extremely cute guys
Writing fun comedy sketches
A good night’s sleep

Morning update! I just had the most perfect night. I met an incredibly adorable guy online and planned to watch a movie and cuddle. Yesterday I was looking at pictures of men being intimate. Not really having sex, just holding each other. I really wanted to have that experience myself, so I brought up the idea with this guy. I ended up spending the night. We curled up next to each other holding one another, our faces always near. It was the most intimate experience I’ve ever been able to have with another man – and we didn’t even have sex. I can’t wait to do that again! I’m so grateful to have been able to have that experience. I have had intimacy problems with men nearly my entire life. I hope those are coming to a close. The last thing I wanted to do this morning was leave. I could have held him in my arms forever. Nothing would have made me happier. Now I’m on my way into Manhattan. My class at Upright Citizen’s Brigade starts today. I’m so excited! Afterwards I’m meeting my friend Kate and we are going to chat and practice reiki on each other. What a wonderful day I have ahead of me!

Gratitude list:
Having the ability to love openly and without reservations.
Receptive people with whom to share such experiences.
New beginnings!

Hi K_____!

Andrew

Gratitude List:
Being back in Newark
Good friends, new friends
Allowing myself to be vulnerable

I met the guy today. I guess you could say he’s super sweet. I guess you could say he’s Dr. Sweet.

I really enjoyed lunch with him. I’m not sure where that’s headed, but I’ll totally plan on setting up a couple more dates with him and coming back down to this area to see him again. I’ve really enjoyed being at my cousin’s house and getting to spend time with him, his fiance and his mother, my aunt. I’m so glad that things worked out this way.

I’m also expecting things to become a little more clear tonight, with everything falling into place tomorrow. I have a feeling the drive to NJ is going to solidify everything for me and then I’ll be true potential and able to manifest that in everything I imagine going forward. This is my time, now, and I’m going to do with it exactly what I want.

I was supposed to meet a guy today, but then I messed it up and didn’t end up seeing him. I was really looking forward to it. Tomorrow we are meeting for lunch. I really want this to work out. He seems like someone who could keep me interested for the long haul. I hope I haven’t misread this situation. Most of the morning it felt like I was walking into my destiny, but this evening that’s cooled off. I felt really in the groove this morning.

Phone update… Too many wonderful things to list about today. The highlight was coming up with the title of my book. It’s going to be:
Superhumans: A Call To Action
I am thinking I’ll maybe publish it without my name or any name for that matter attached. I don’t think I want that noise. I feel like I’m getting pulled in a million different directions now.

Gratitude List:
Second Chances
Talking and listening with my favorite aunt
The Museum of Natural History
Jay, my sponsor

Today was both good and bad. Tomorrow I’ll have to remember to bring my stones. And to do some meditation. I haven’t in the last couple days and it’s definitely something I should do.

I met a guy today. He was nice and clearly doing the best he could, but he was also in a lot of pain. We hung out for a long time today and he showed me around the city. Afterwards, I felt exceptionally drained. I walked to a meeting that I found on an app and it turned out to be a really great meeting. Everyone there was so kind and warm. I also got there early and got to chat with the extremely handsome, kind man who happened to be the trusted servant. I would have been more than happy to spend the rest of my life with him. I mean if the circumstances were to fall into place. I could tell he had a lot of qualities that would resonate well with me, but there was also something more that would keep me interested for the long term. I should have asked him out. I really should have done that. The problem is I’m not going to be in this area for more than a few more days. I’ll be back, but that’s all unclear right now. I’m not going to be single forever. It will fall into place. Hopefully soon. I want nothing more than to fall madly, deeply in love. My soul mate will be showing up soon.

Arlington VA is a fantastic place! It’s so pretty and new. Such affluence and major things happening here. Now this is really a city!

I’m so grateful I had a wonderful evening seeing my favorite aunt. We ate a delicious meal and had a wonderful conversation. Afterwards, my cousin invited me to meet a friend of his. It’s really great to be around people who casually converse about problems and solutions to things, but that do it at a different level than most people do, or care to do. I really liked the guy we met tonight. He was a good person. I hope I haven’t seen the last of him.

Something happened last night. I’m not sure what exactly it was. I was in that in between state where I was falling asleep, but not quite asleep yet. I saw a squirrel, or at least I think it was a squirrel. It was hopping around like a bunny and then there was a bunny following it around, but not hopping around like a bunny. I thought it was the most ridiculously funny thing I’ve ever seen and started this deep, deep laughing down to my core. The thing is, the laughter actually happened. And afterwards, I felt cleansed. Like my soul had been fixed. Everything had been fixed. Daizee, my mother’s cat, then showed up. I was kind of worried she was going to kill both the bunny and the squirrel because that’s what she does, but she was just there observing.

The laughter brought me out of the semi awake/ falling asleep state and into a fully awake ‘what is going on’ state. I then saw, in my mind’s eye, a structure. It was like pyramid bases, stretched out but all around and connected at the top. That makes no sense, but I simply can’t describe the structure I saw. The structure then shifted and changed; something clicked into place in a different way. I then saw several different images after each other. They were all faces/eyes on faces. The final ones being those of dolls.

Gratitude List:
Date tomorrow
Growth on many different levels and of many different things
Meeting new people

Yeah, she was a little reluctant to wean me off the final one, but I’m really glad she acquiesced. Do they teach you in psychiatry programs that you’ll encounter people who have been given a diagnosis that isn’t correct, but circumstances – partially just taking medication to begin with, has kept them sick? This is maybe an over share, but I was at hazelden about 4 years ago and when I got there my current psychiatrist had me on 6 medications: 3 mood stabilizers, an antidepressant and 2 benzos. I heard someone lecture while there who talked about how people show up with all these different diagnoses that aren’t necessarily correct. That planted a seed in my mind…. And it took me several years, but I did it. I’m actually happy and healthy now versus how sick I was before. I had to do a tremendous amount of work to get to this point. 2/15/2013 will mark one year since I last took any medication for mental illness. It’s a pretty remarkable thing.

The plan has changed since my last email…. Headed out East yesterday. In Chicago seeing a friend now. Will drive to DC tomorrow or Monday and then landing in Newark for a few months while I see how things settle. Already made a ton of friends in the NYC area while there for a couple weeks after Christmas. Had all the screws taken out of my knees about a week ago – just got done working out a minute ago actually. 4 months away from the gym has not been kind to me, but I’ll get back into it easily enough. Starting a writing class at Upright Citizens Brigade in NYC on 2/4 and hoping to travel to Norway in a few months as part of a reality tv show I’m planning on getting cast in. Oh, and I am going to write a book. Honestly Greg, I’m really glad I don’t have a job anymore. Who has the time to work? Ugh. I don’t plan on doing that again. How are things for you? What’s new?

Put succinctly, life really has changed tremendously in the past few months.

Driving to Arlington VA tomorrow morning. I had considered staying in Chicago tomorrow and driving on Monday, but there is some freezing rain headed this way and I’d rather be ahead of the storm. I can’t wait to hang out with family and explore the DC area for a few days. It’s going to be awesome!

Gratitude List:
C
Pretty men
Doing stuff with pretty men