I’ve actually had a really productive day. Well, not really that productive, but I’ve been able to do a bunch of things I wanted to do before leaving Bangkok.

One of them was getting dinner with S. It was really nice. I got to thank him and sit and talk. He’s such a kind person and he’s definitely someone I could learn a lot from. I feel I have learned a lot from him, despite not having spent that much time with him. I’m really, really grateful for all he’s done for me.

I also went to the Grand Palace, got a two hour massage and saw a movie today. All things I’d been hoping to do. In addition, I booked a flight to Japan. I looked last night and figured I’d sleep on it and then today it was clear I should go. Unfortunately I got an email from the director of studies at the school where I’ll be working and it sounds like the visa might get processed on their end a little faster. Since I haven’t heard anything in over a week I decided to just book the flight anyway. Nothing was definite on his end and I’ll be signing a year contract to work for the school so taking a couple extra days to visit Japan seems like a good idea. I’d still be back in Hong Kong and able to get the visa processed earlier than the initial time estimate. Financially it would be a better idea for me to get to China and start working ASAP, but oh well. That’ll all work out. I’m happy with this decision and I can’t wait to explore Japan for 8 days! Yay!

Gratitude List:
Going to Japan!
Saying goodbye to Bangkok and my friends here
Sleeping in

I had a good weekend. It was bit tiring being around Thai people and listening to them speak so much Thai – exhausting, really, but I enjoyed the weekend a lot. It was great to hang out with S and get to meet her friends. I’m glad that she invited me.

I’m thinking more seriously about going to Japan. I could fly there for a week and pay a little over $300 for the flight. I’ve begun to realize just how much time I’m going to have in Hong Kong. I’ll be there on 10/10 and my work visa might not be fully processed for another 3 weeks. I think I’d really love Japan. I’m going to sleep on it and see. I’m not sure I have the appetite for putting more unneeded flights on my credit card. I think once I’m in Japan I’d find that things were comparably priced with Hong Kong so I’m reasoning that it’s really only the flight. Plus, if I spent a week in Japan I’d still have over a week (or more) in Hong Kong. We’ll see how I feel about it in the morning.

Gratitude List:
Final few days in Bangkok
A relaxing weekend
Numbers

Another day closer to leaving Thailand. Such mixed emotions about it all. On the one hand I’m really ready to go. I can’t stay here forever and I have no intention of finding a job here. It’s been great being here, but change and uncertainty are always a bit daunting. It’ll be good though. Plus, I’m wicked excited about being back in Hong Kong.

Today was a really wonderful day. I’m so grateful for today. I was looking at the bikes near the front desk earlier and asked the woman if I could just take one. She held up her hand in the universal “just one second” and then disappeared into the building. A couple minutes later she comes outside with a mountain bike. The other bikes would have been alright for a short, slow ride, but not nearly as much fun as a mountain bike. I ended up biking down this road that runs along the beach and it was so wonderful. I haven’t been biked in so long and there’s nothing better than being out on a bike feeling the wind and enjoying the day. The scenery was also beyond beautiful. I couldn’t have asked for a better activity today. Round trip the bike ride ended up being around 30 miles so I was pretty tired by the time I got back. I’ll certainly sleep well tonight!

Gratitude List:
A mountain bike and a beautiful ride along the coast
S and more time relaxing with all her friends
Delicious food

This is my first anniversary of my last day of work! I can’t believe it’s been a year already. I’m not really sure where the time has gone. It’s been such a remarkable year. I’m so grateful for the time I spent living at M and M’s and being able to explore NJ and NYC. I’m also really grateful for the 4.5 months in Thailand. I’ve made some really awesome friends since leaving the US. I’m also really excited about going to China and starting the next phase of my life. I deserve to be happy and am finally seeking out that happiness. Everything else will fall into place.

I’m with S this weekend at her friend’s family’s resort. It was such a fun day driving down here followed by a really nice evening hanging out and meeting her friends. It makes me miss mine, but these Thai people are all really nice. I’m really grateful to be having this experience – and to be back with you, KP.

Gratitude List:
S and all her great friends
A relaxing drive
Hope for the future

KP! I want you back. I miss the time we used to spend together. Like most things, I’m either visiting you everyday or not at all. I’m doing morning pages right now so I’m getting some writing done, but I really enjoyed the updates I did with you. I’m going I try to come back around sooner.

I flew back from Krabi today. It was beautiful down there and I had a good time hanging out with Dan. Sad to leave, but life will go on. I’m glad I was able to make that work before leaving Thailand.

Today has taken a bit of a strange turn. I’d planned to get home and do laundry and then hit up a 2 hour thai massage followed by a movie. When I got home S mentioned I’d maybe want to get a syphilis test before having the medical check done in Hong Kong. Right now I’m at the Red Cross. It’s been a lot of sitting and waiting, but 200 baht for any kind of medical test is a steal in my book. I’d much rather wait a bit and have affordable medical care than first class service at prices that keep me from seeking any kind of treatment. I have no reason to think I have syphilis – very little sexual contact in Thailand these last 4.5 months, but if it comes back in HK that I do have it treatment is going to be much more expensive and it’ll really slow down the process of me getting my visa. If by some chance I do have it this way I can start getting it sorted now rather than later. It’s supposed to be pretty rampant in the gay community. And, at this point, I’ve had the blood drawn so now all I need to do is wait an hour for the results to come back. I should still be able to get a massage and see a movie. I’d really like to go to this big English bookstore in Siam Paragon to get a book that recently came on my radar.

Speaking of books, I’d still like to write one. I like the writing class I’m currently taking. It’s giving me a lot to think about. I should be devoting more time to the actual class, but with being in Krabi these past few days I just haven’t been. Maybe this weekend or next week I can put in some more time. I don’t want to fall behind and would like to make the most of it.

I booked a flight to HK yesterday. It leaves on 10/10. I’m so excited! I might end up being there for 2 weeks or a little longer. It’ll be pretty expensive, but what a gift to be able to spend a lengthy amount of time exploring Hong Kong. I’m going to stay in a different hostel this time which was much nicer than the one I stayed in last time. It’s going to be so much fun. I am also going to look at flights to Japan because I could probably fly there for not that much money and I assume it would be about as expensive as HK. I’d love to spend a week in Japan. I think I may wait on that one a bit, though. It would end up being a lot of running around. We’ll see though. If there is a good flight I’ll do it.

I’m sad about leaving Thailand. I’ve definitely had my ups and downs with this country, but overall I’m really grateful for the time I got to spend here. I can’t believe I’m coming up on 5 months here! Where has the time gone? I actually feel like I’m ready to have some more structure to my days. I also can’t wait to have my own apartment again and to know I’m going to be sticking around somewhere for a while.

I also just got back from the beach today and am leaving for the beach again tomorrow. I’m going with my thai friend and some of her friends. I’m hoping for a really fun weekend. It’ll be great.

Ok KP, that’s all for now. I’ve missed you! I’m going to start coming back more often. It’s always great to have a chat.

Gratitude List:
S and the home he’s given me in Thailand
Hanging out with D
Thai Red Cross and affordable health care

Hi Kittenparachutes!

Remember that decade I spent trying to destroy myself? Yeah, it taught me I’m invincible. 🙂

I accepted a job offer in China. I got all of the documents sent yesterday so the school can get my work visa processed. I got a great impression of the school. Plus, the guy who hired me is really nice (and cute!). I’m sure you’re not surprised I’d make a decision to choose a school to work at because it’s got a cute guy as the director of studies. The school also seems like it’ll provide plenty of support for me as a new teacher and I get the impression I’ll really like the community of teachers. I’ll be teaching some little kids which I also think I’ll like quite a bit. I can see myself really getting into teaching little kids. If nothing else, it’ll be an adventure.

So aside from the new job, I’m also taking an online writing class that recently started and I signed up for several coursera courses that I’m not sure I’ll be able to dedicate an adequate amount of time too. Oh, and I continue to draw. I’m really enjoying the drawing right now and I’ve decided they’re improving as well. All in all I’d say things are going pretty well. I’ll pop back in again at some point to let you know how things are going in China.

One last thing, KP. You know college basically taught me I can achieve a lot more by not trying than most people can through hard work. What do you think would happen if I actually tried and applied myself? I have a feeling I’m going to find out. It should be a wild ride.

Gratitude List:
Following my heart, going my own way and making it work.
Opportunities I never even dreamed of.
Feeling the pulse of the earth.

Hey KP!

It’s been a while. I haven’t forgotten about you. I started doing this artist’s way workbook which has me journaling every morning. As a result, I haven’t been visiting you as often.

Can we talk?

I feel like I’ve lost my way. I don’t know what to do anymore. Actually, this feels suspiciously like a spiritual bottom. I’ve been immersing myself in spiritual thought and ideas, but it’s only made me feel further away from God or source, rather than closer to it. I want to surrender. I need to surrender. I just don’t know how. Please show me the way.

And, if at all possible, please point me forward on the next segment of my journey. I need to get out of Bangkok ASAP. I’ve severely soured on this place. It’s just unclear at this point what I should do next. You’ve gotten me through so many things KP any help on this would be greatly appreciated. I’ve passed my breaking point as far as being in Bangkok is concerned.

I’m also lonely. So very lonely. Please help.

I just don’t know what the fuck I’m doing anymore. My life has no purpose and I don’t know how to find it. I’m not sure things will ever be ok. I can hope they will be and try to stay positive, but I don’t think I can keep this up much longer. It’s just not working any more.

It feels like I’m waiting for someone to save me from this situation – from myself, really. I have a feeling that’s not going to happen. It’s time I save myself.

Gratitude List:
KP
Dan
The desire to surrender and turn my will over

I set my alarm for the morning (not something I’m in the habit of doing) with the intention of getting up and going to church in the morning. Perhaps hell has frozen over. I guess if the good lord wants me to be there, he’ll find a way to make sure it happens. I put the odds at a little over 50/50 at this point.

Gratitude List:
An engaging movie
A great conversation with a very good friend
Something to live for

I basically spent the last 24 hours sleeping. I woke up this morning feeling quite sick, so I went back to bed and never quite got up. I went over to the 7-11 a little while ago and got some snacks because I haven’t eaten much in the last 24 hours. I feel better after eating, but will probably try to go back to sleep. My brain feels fried from sleeping so much.

Gratitude List:
Nuts
Hard boiled eggs
Water

Well I woke up with a runny nose yesterday, but now I’ve got a full blown cold. Runny nose, aches, sore throat, chills, headache, etc. I’ve basically been sleeping all day. I’m pissed that I clearly won’t be able to go to Crossfit today and who knows about tomorrow. I just want to not be sick anymore.

Gratitude List:
Not having anything I have to do so I can just rest and get better
Being able to sleep pretty well
Bananas