Maybe I’m turning over a new leaf in regards to updating this more regularly. I think it would be good for me.

I had a kind of stupid day. I got picked up at 7 am which meant I had to get up really, really early. I couldn’t sleep last night so had gotten very little when I got up in the morning. Once I got here I took a nap, but didn’t really sleep for that long. I then spent hours just killing time, mostly on the apps with stupid guys and other things. I even invited a guy over, but once he got here he didn’t look much like his pictures. I mentioned this to him and he said we didn’t need to go through with anything… And then he scurried off. It was super awkward. I deleted one of the apps tonight which was a great idea. It’s not so much that my behavior is risky and terrible and I’m hooking up all the time when I’m using them, but rather that my mental health and sense of balance seem to steeply decline. I felt nearly crazed at times today while hoping to find someone to fool around with. I’m glad that I snapped out of it this evening for whatever reason. Things have actually been pretty relaxed and ok for the last few hours. Hopefully tomorrow will feel more like a return to something more normal.

I finally put all my pictures up on the wall. And I took out all of my stones and put them back on the desk. I was embarrassed last week when someone was coming over and took them all of the desk and threw them in the dresser. I like them much more on the desk. And the pictures look great on the wall. It’s neat to see them there. It makes this room feel more like my own – if only for a while. Plus I love being able to see the fruits of my creative output and it inspires me to create more soon. I wrote on a note card ‘stART’ on the wall. I hope it inspires me to get moving on creating. I can be drawing or writing. What I don’t want to be doing is wasting away my time in an unproductive manner.

I started reading a book last night that I really like, but somehow didn’t find any time to read it today. Hmm. Maybe I’ll find some time to take a look at it tomorrow. I think it could change my life. At least I’ve heard several really spiritual people mention that it spoke very loudly to them. Not that it means it will to me as well, but from what I read last night when I couldn’t sleep I got the impression I am going to really like it.

Ok, it’s time to go to bed. I’m tired. I’m excited to get a good night’s sleep tonight since last night was so terrible and then today I felt off because of how little I slept. Tomorrow is a new day and it’s going to be a really great one. I can feel it already!

Where hope exists, where there was no hope before, is a miracle.

Gratitude List:

Getting my pretties out again and on my desk!

Putting my pictures up on the wall where I can admire them

Finally deleting that terrible, terrible app. I can’t believe it lasted a week or however long I’ve been using it.