I’m feeling. I’m sitting on a bench on Lake Calhoun. The sky is overcast and gray. I can feel the breeze flow by my ears and see the ripples on the lake in front of me they create. I’m in between appointments to look at rooms and realized I had enough time to walk around the lake. 

It’s so strange being in Minneapolis. I’m excited and not sure I’ll decide to stay, but what a gift these next couple months in my beloved Minneapolis will be. I feel really grateful to have them ahead of me.

I also can feel something growing inside me. A groundswell that’s picking up momentum. A force I cannot, and do not want, to stop. 

I want to love. I want to live a big, grand, fun life. 

I have these very strong, very conflicting desires inside me. One is to be firmly planted in a community, to be around my parents and friends and to have a routine and consistency in my life. The other is to travel, to explore the world and to be as far from routine as possible. I have no idea how I’m going to balance these two desires. It’s possible I’ll spend the rest of my life trying to. I hope to find my freedom, my happiness, my courage, my voice and my love. I want it all.

I can’t help but reflect on the person I am today versus the one I was when I lived here before. I can recognize such a difference inside me. Like I’ve found my core and set firmly planted roots to my soul. A foundation that can’t be broken. It’s such a great understanding I’ve come. And even though I don’t know how it’s going to work out, I know it’s going to work out. Great things are on the horizon!
Gratitude List:

Being back in my beloved Minneapolis

An unstoppable desire to love

Looking forward to what the future holds