I feel that my soul has broken. Or been broken by circumstance, myself and the world around me. I feel more lost than ever. I wonder if I’ll ever find myself back on some path to something, anything.

I don’t know where to go from here. I know I can’t continue forth. I know I can’t go back. But will I ever find my way? Or is my place in life simply to drift, malnourished in spirit and love. I want something more for myself. I just don’t know how to get it, how to obtain that or how to live the life I crave.

Is there a God? Can he help me with this? The hour is getting late and the darkness has descended. I know that ultimately it is my responsibility to pull myself out of the pain, but right now I just feel mired and depleted. I can’t go another step forward. I want to give up. To rest and to never face the world again.

How can I allow myself to love and be loved when I feel I am not worthy of either of those things? Why do I feel I’m not worthy of those things? These notions run deep and have been with me longer than I understand. Why is that?

I have dreams, but will I ever have the courage to pursue them?

Gratitude List:

Warmer weather and the appearance of spring approaching

Clarity, even if it’s not something I want to own up to right now

Changes on the horizon