I don’t want to stop doing this. I think it adds value to my life and it really doesn’t take more than a 10 minute daily commitment. I spend a lot more time doing other things that don’t add value to my life. So, even though I haven’t done a great job of writing updates every night, I’m going to try to get myself back into the habit of doing it on a daily basis. Done.

I didn’t do anything more than casually look for jobs today for a few minutes. I still don’t see a great resolution coming on that front. I still think that my best bet is going to be going to meetings and asking around. I know the program people will help, I just have to show up and ask for the help. I haven’t been showing up much lately. I’m going to try to make a meeting tomorrow before I go to the monthly Reiki clinic. There is a clubhouse I’ve been meaning to check out. They basically have meetings going on all throughout the day. I’d like to find a sponser and work through the steps again. It’s really not that much work to get into the city and go to a meeting. Even though it’s winter, I need to be doing a better job of it. My recovery is important to me and I’d really like to have a social network in the city. I’ll make friends if I make it a habit of showing up regularly.

I shoveled a path on the deck for the dogs today. It was a pain in the ass because last time it snowed it also rained meaning there was a lot of frozen ice I had to cheap away with a shovel. It really didn’t take me too long though and it was beautiful today. It was about 40 degrees, but felt much warmer. And the sun was out! After I shoveled the deck I found the dogs leashes and took them for a walk. Whenever we got to a section of the sidewalk that wasn’t shoveled and had ice and snow I had to pick up the dogs and carry them. They’re kind of sad little dogs, but they don’t like the cold and don’t go for walks that often. I will maybe try to get them out more often. I think they enjoyed going for the walk. I know I did.

I walked to CF tonight because M got caught up picking M(a) up in Newark. Walking over there was a bitch. The sidewalks are really icy and snowy. I almost fell once, but aside from that it went ok. The WOD was also not that terrible today and we got to benchpress. There was also a guy who’s thinking about joining our gym. He’s obviously not new to CF. He was cute. Someday I’d like one of my own. Whoa!

Ok, so M and I are going to try to make it to the 6 am class in the morning. I’m not totally sold on this idea, but it’ll be ok. It’ll be nice to get over there and be done with it. I can also come home and go right back to bed. Or write morning pages afterwards and then go back to bed. The only thing I really want to do tomorrow is make sure I get into the city for a meeting before the clinic. There is a meeting at 4 pm that I think would work well. I’ll take a closer look at train schedules to figure out what train I should be on tomorrow.

All in all it was not a bad day. I went to the diner with M and M this evening. All I got was a bowl of french onion soup which was pretty good. Yesterday I started tracking all of my calories and trying to hit my calorie and protein goals. I’m trying to eat 2350 calories and 235 grams of protein right now. It’s kind of a lot. And really I’m surprised that 2350 calories is really not that much. I mean it is, but I feel like I could have eaten way more today. Not that I feel deprived or anything, I don’t, but I do feel like it would have been easy to eat quite a bit more than that. And lately I’m sure I have been eating more than that. I’d really like to lose some weight and tone up. I think that if I stick to this pretty strict calorie and protein goals, in addition to going to CF 5 times a week, I’ll be seeing that happen very quickly. I’m already feeling better about my weight and how I look. I think my arms are starting to look like they are putting on some muscle. Yay! I’ll probably weigh myself at Andrew’s this weekend because he has a scale. It’s been two weeks since I was last there and weighed myself. Last time I had gained 2 pounds from the time before which bummed me out. I’m not sure what I’ll discover when I weigh myself this weekend. I’d like to see that I’ve lost a little bit of weight, but who knows. Ok, time to be done. I’m just spewing information now.

Gratitude List:

Making it to CF

A nice evening at the diner with M and M

Getting outside to enjoy the beautiful day today