I went to an OA meeting today. There were not that many people there. One guy spoke and then everyone got a chance to share, but the shares were limited to 3 minutes. I waited to share and was the last person to do so. I basically blurted out as much as possible in the 3 minutes I had to share. It felt good. I want to do that again soon.

I’m going to bed in a few minutes. It’s not even midnight yet, but I feel tired and like I’ll sleep well. I’m going to sleep in the other bedroom again because I like the mattress more. I might move the mattress into this room tomorrow. I’m really glad that I’m both tired and going to bed early. Staying up so late and then sleeping so late really doesn’t agree with me. With any luck I’ll be up at a decent hour tomorrow morning. I’m starting CF tomorrow so I’m excited about that. M might try to get in the class and join me. I hope she does. It would be fun to go over there with her. I think she’d like it, too.

I’m glad I don’t have to go into the city tomorrow. I’ll actually not be going in a for a few days I imagine because of these CF classes. It’s been nice going to different meetings this weekend. I’d really like to do that more in the coming weeks and months. I’d really like to move into the city. I also feel ready to pursue something and to have a job that is meaningful to me that I can work hard at. Hopefully I’ll fall into something soon. I can be incredibly lucky.

I miss my family. I talked to my mom and dad today so that was really nice. I’m hoping to work on my resume tomorrow. I’d also like to spend some time drawing or reading this new book I just bought yesterday. I’ve been craving taking some time to draw lately, I just haven’t made it actually happen. Maybe tomorrow or one of the coming days I’ll do that.

I’ve had J on my mind today. I don’t really want to message him. Partly because I don’t feel like I can have a sexual relationship with someone right now. I also have this voice in the back of my head telling me he’s really not that interested in me. I hate that voice. He always messages me back pretty quickly, but I keep saying things like “we should hang out sometime soon” without actually trying to pin down any plans. I noticed that he removed the picture from the profile on one of the apps I use. I’m not sure if that means he’s fed up with the app and taking a break, or possibly that he’s found a guy and started dating someone. Maybe tomorrow I’ll send him a message. It would be great to hang out with him again. He’s cute and a genuinely nice guy.

Gratitude List:

Finally getting the jacket taken care of

Speaking my truth at an OA meeting

An early bed time and the prospect of a productive day tomorrow