I’m severely exhausted right now. I went to the Y and worked out earlier. They have 2 of the elliptical machines I like. I went for 2 hours which wasn’t very tough until about the last 10 minutes when I just really wanted to be done. The Y wasn’t very big, but I went in the early afternoon so there were very few people there. I’ll maybe go back tomorrow or else try to check out another location. It depends on how much time I have. I’ve got to get myself to M and M’s wedding in the afternoon so I’ll probably go back to the same Y because it’s easier. We’ll see though.

I went to the Reiki clinic tonight and enjoyed it. It was nice to practice on other people and to receive a treatment. It’s always nice to receive a treatment.

I don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m not so stressed about money, but it would be great to be making some. I also feel lost when it comes to a career. I want a career. I want something I can dedicate myself to. I want to be an expert at something. I feel like I’ve got nothing right now and that I’m not very close to finding anything more than I have right now. I feel like I’ll never really fit into this structure of work and careers that so many others seem to understand and not second guess. I know that something good will come along or that I’ll get to where I need to be, but it’s really tough being where I am now. It doesn’t feel like I’ll ever have anything more than I have right now, which is basically nothing.

Ok, I’m off to bed. I can’t wait to sleep. A’s bed is so comfortable, too.

Gratitude List:

Getting to work out today

Making progress on my body, even if it feels like it’s barely inching along at times

Getting to practice and receive a treatment tonight

I’m back in NYC!  The flight was pretty uneventful and it was easy enough meeting up with Andrew once my plane landed. I spent the morning running all around Minneapolis getting a few things done. Josh and I also went out for lunch which was really good. I’ll miss being in Minneapolis, but it feels good to be back here and I’m ready to figure something out. Hopefully a job and an income will make it’s way into my life.

I don’t have anything I have to do tomorrow. It’ll be nice. I plan to go to the gym and relax a little around Andrew’s apartment. I like his place. It’s small, but it’s nice and very homey. I could definitely live in a place like this. Not that I could afford it, but you know.

Gratitude List:

Being back in NYC

An easy, relaxing day ahead of me tomorrow

A great friend like Josh

I wrote something and submitted it to a contest. I got an email about the contest a couple months ago and thought “I’m going to enter that,” but of course never sat down to actually write something.  With the deadline approaching I kept thinking about it, but still never sat down to write anything.  I did write a little bit last night and then I got up and wrote the rest of it today. I’m not super proud of it, but I am proud of the fact I actually got it written and submitted. Usually when I get ideas like this I end up bailing on them. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be either. It really wasn’t that hard at all. The hardest part was making myself sit down and actually write it. That part was like pulling teeth. Anyway, I’m glad I got it done and that I submitted something.

It’s strange that I’m leaving tomorrow. Being at my parents’ house has been really nice and now this feels like my new reality, despite how bitterly cold out it is and how much I don’t want to be around the cold anymore. My mom, dad and I went and got dinner tonight. Tomorrow evening my mom is going to drive me back to Minneapolis where I’ll stay with a friend before flying out on Wednesday. It’s strange to be leaving here. I don’t want to look for jobs and I certainly don’t want to be working.

I didn’t get nearly as much done today as I’d hoped. I did make it to the gym which was awesome.  I ran for 3 miles and then went another 8 on the elliptical machine. I’m totally spent right now and ready to go to bed. I’d like to make it to the gym tomorrow, but I have to pack which is going to take me a long time and I’d also like to create a video so I can apply for a reality tv show. I’m not sure that’s actually going to happen. We’ll see. If I just make the video tomorrow I can do the application later on. I’m more worried about the video than the application.

I just feel like sleeping and sleeping for a really long time. Tomorrow is going to be busy though. I am excited to be back in NJ/NY. I’m not super excited about job searching or figuring out an income, but it’s time I start doing something more with my time. It’s been nice going to the gym and being a bum this last month I’ve been in the US, but I’m ready for more. I also took a look at my credit card balance which is swelling quickly now that I’m back. It’s time to have an income again, that’s for sure.

Gratitude List:

A nice dinner with my mom and dad

Writing something that somehow else will read

Running at the gym