I got up an hour earlier today than yesterday. That was at least an improvement, I guess. I looked at jobs online for a little while, but didn’t apply for any. I didn’t even see any I really wanted to apply for. I think my best bet is going to be applying at the temp places and trying to get some temp work going. That would at least provide me with some income which would be a major improvement over things right now. It would also give me some time to think, network and develop some ideas as to what I’d like to do. Tomorrow I’ll spend some time researching temp agencies.

Andrew and I cooked dinner tonight (well, frozen pizza) and watched two episodes of Game of Thrones. Neither of us had seen any of them before. I liked it. I could see myself getting pretty into that series. I’d definitely like to continue watching episodes.

I keep looking at writing classes, but I don’t really have the money to take one right now. I’d like to, but they’re really expensive. Plus, I don’t really know what’s going to be a good time to commit to a class that meets for 8 or 10 weeks. I looked for writing meetups and found a whole bunch listed. It wouldn’t be as comprehensive as a class, but I’d probably meet some pretty cool people and be able to network. It would also provide at least some time for me to write. And who knows, maybe I’d even gain some motivation and drive to work on some of the writing projects on my own outside of the meetup group.

I ran for 3 miles (about 28 minutes) on the treadmill and then used the elliptical machine for an hour (8 miles). I didn’t feel the greatest afterwards. I’m not sure if I didn’t drink enough water or have enough food, but I felt a bit sick and unsteady for a while after I finished. It wasn’t great fun. I felt better after eating dinner and drinking lots of water throughout the night. When I get up tomorrow morning I’m going to drink a lot of water so that if I work out and sweat a lot tomorrow I’ll be more hydrated. I can tell my knees are going to hurt tomorrow. They don’t feel the greatest right now. I imagine it was from the running, but it also could be the squats I did before running. Oh yeah, I did squats before running. Just 4 sets of 10 with the bar. I’m still trying to squat the bar a lot when I go so that my knees get used to squatting with weight again, but not with any amount of weight that should bother them much. If I had to guess I’d say the running is what really aggravated my knees. I didn’t run very fast or for very long, but my knees are going to be sore tomorrow. I really don’t want to have to rely on the elliptical machine or a stationary bike as my only source of cardio going forward. I hope my knees start to feel better. The elliptical doesn’t bother them at all, but as soon as I try something else like running I have problems. It’s still early and I’ve only been back at the gym a month. I’ll give the running a rest tomorrow and hope they feel better soon. Or maybe they’ll even feel better in the morning after a good night’s rest. Tomorrow I’m going to try to get up a little early. I’d also like to do something different – like go to a museum, yoga class or just get out and wander around the city.

I’m still super annoyed with my weight. I weighed myself this morning and I’ve gained a few pounds since I’ve been back at the gym. It’s not a super big deal, but I’ve never weighed this much and been happy with my weight. I do think I’m making progress and I can feel that I’ve got more muscle on me than I did before, but I’d still like to shed a few pounds. I weighed 230 pounds this morning which is a lot. I think a good goal weight for me would be 215. I realize with my disordered eating past I’m used to setting goals, achieving them and then setting a new goal, but I really think I’d be happy around 215. My mind is already saying 200. Oh well. Since I’m not losing any weight right now it’s unlikely I’ll ever find myself at 215. I don’t totally understand why I’m not losing weight. I’m eating better, although still not great. I wouldn’t say my calorie intake is super high, though. I’ve definitely been eating less even though I’m still eating some pretty crappy food. Once I’m more settled I’m totally going to tackle that. If I’m eating in and eating food I buy at Costco, or elsewhere, I’ll be eating much healthier and spending a ton less money on food. It’s a win win situation. And I know I’m making progress, I’m just surprised it’s not coming faster. I pushed myself hard for 1.5 hours of cardio at the gym today. I’ve been keeping up a pretty consisted schedule of hitting the gym and it’s definitely not uncommon for me to go longer than the initial hour I shoot for as my bare minimum. I would think the changes in my body would be happening lightning fast. I’ll give it more time and in time I’ll see the changes I want to see. I’m sure I still won’t be happy with my body and how I look since I never actually am. That’s something to work on, I suppose.

Gratitude List:

A longer workout that was pretty satisfying

Watching an interesting tv show tonight

Some hope as far as the writing stuff goes