I’m glad I’m leaving Jaipur tomorrow. There are some beautiful things about it, but overall this place is kind of a shothole. It’s also much more oriented towards tourism. And, by that I mean fucking over foreign tourists at every turn. I feel like I’m managing to keep my wits about me so far, but I don’t anticipate that will last all trip. I imagine by the end I’ll be acting like a total dick to lots of these unscrupulous Indians.

I rented a rickshaw again today to take me around. I thought about just walking and/or not hiring one for the day and just coordinating them as I went, but the guy from yesterday was outside. He of course wanted more money than yesterday making up a lie about how things were further away than last time. I knew they weren’t because I had looked beforehand. I hired him, but then he said his uncle was coming and I’d go with him. I just started to walk away at that point and wish I would have not acquiesced and later gone with his uncle (who I’m sure wasn’t actually his uncle). He said 600 was fine and I thought he’d take me to where I wanted to go. We went to a couple places. One of them I didn’t even want to really go to. It ended up being a little scammy, but only 200 rupees. There were also monkeys that I got to feed so that was cool. Anyway, afterwards I asked him to take me somewhere else and he said no. I told him I thought I’d paid him for the day. Since it was only half past one at that time I told him he could take me back to my hotel and I’d pay him half the day’s rate – 300 rupees. He wasn’t pleased with this idea at all. I finally told him I’d give him 400 instead of 600 and that was it. He brought me back to the hotel. I got change and gave him 400 rupees. He took the money and didn’t say anything else. It wasn’t a terrible experience, but I have a feeling I’m going to be really sick of traveling in India before I leave. It would be nice to have someone else around to help out in situations like that. Another person would create some distance and a buffer from it all.

I bought two blankets or bed covers tonight. I really wish I’d only bought one. I like them, but they take up more space in my backpack than I realized they would. Oh well. I can give them as gifts or just keep them for myself. They don’t seem to be the greatest quality, but I got a decent price on them so I’m happy. I always employ the “I’m just not that interested in these” and walk away without ever naming a price. That way I can watch the price drop as I’m leaving. I like that tactic. These started at 1500 and I ended up paying 1500 for two of them. I’m happy with that. I worry they’ll fall apart basically right away, but whatever. I’ll go look at that shop in Delhi that Ramesh showed me and see what they have. I imagine the stuff they sell in there is decent quality. At least it all looked pretty nice when we were there.

Ok, I have a stupid early train in the morning. I’m going to try to leave here at 6 am which means I should get up by 5:30. It’s a 3 hour train ride to Agra and I’ll most likely sleep on the way there. I’m excited to see the Taj Mahal. I can’t believe that’s actually happening tomorrow. Yay!

Gratitude List:
Delicious butter chicken
Getting ripped off, but standing my ground
Morning pages and my dedication to them

Oh KP. What am I going to do? Not that I need to really do anything, but you know. I feel like it would be a good idea if I did.

I just slept with an Indian guy. The hotel moved me to a room downstairs that’s more or less outside. At least you don’t enter the hotel in order to reach the room. It’s strange. I called this morning to confirm they had a room I could switch to since they didn’t want me to stay in my original room. Of course, they didn’t I bitched at them and ended up moving to this room. It’s not the best room, but it’s ok. And it’s nice it’s basically outside so I can have a guest without awkwardly bringing them through the lobby.

He was a nice guy. Young, but not too young. I had fun. I’m glad I did that. I’m also really glad that I get to go to bed now. I’m tired. I”m going to try to order food for the morning. I’d like to have it arrive at a certain time so that I can avoid going back upstairs and dealing with the restaurant there. The service is terrible. I suppose I could go across the street and eat there too. It could be closer than the restaurant at my hotel.

I went to this awesome fort earlier today. It was huge! I love the forts here because they are usually completely empty, but there isn’t a lot that’s blocked off. That’s what I love about them. Today, I felt like I was running around in a game of Zelda. I had to see where every set of stairs or corridor went. I went up and down and all around this fort. I really enjoyed it. It was nice to be alone, too. It would have been nice to be with someone too, though. I hired an autorickshaw to take me around for the day and paid him 600 rupees. It was definitely much better than trying to figure out how to get places on my own. I’ll probably do that same tomorrow. I have to look at where I want to go first. I bought a ticket that grants access to a bunch of different places.

My contacts are so dry and messed up right now I can barely see. I’ve got to go to bed. I’ve got another busy day ahead of me tomorrow and the day after I’ll be at the Taj Mahal! I keep thinking about emails I should send, but never seem to find the time to actually write them. I also signed up for an online course that I’m hoping to take a look at. Maybe tomorrow night I can have a low-key evening and get some of those things done. I could go across the way for dinner and grab my laptop and do some research and other stuff. I’ll also have to figure out where I’m staying in Agra. Hopefully that won’t take too long.

Did I mention it’s super hot here? Today was nearly a hundred degrees. I was out in the sun nearly all day. It’s exhausting. It’s dry heat, though, so not nearly as bad as a similar temp would be in Bangkok.

I forgot to mention – B emailed me back this evening. It’s strange. He let me know his whereabouts and what’s new in his life. He asked that I share more about my adventure. I’d like to, but I’m not sure I should open myself up to anything with him right now. Even if it’s just a few random email exchanges. Who knows. I’ll most likely email him back. I plan to tell it like it is. This experience has been great, but I don’t want to whitewash the bad parts.

Gratitude List:
Getting to see a really neat fort
Meeting an Indian guy for some fun without much difficulty
Some much needed time for reflection

I’m now in Jaipur. The train ride felt long. It was comfortable enough, I suppose, but I was really glad when it finally ended. I booked a 3rd class sleeper. It’s nice to have a sleeper, but the 3rd class doesn’t provide that much room. I can’t sit up while on the bed. I have to be laying down which gets kind of annoying. I made the most of it and read some book and watched a movie. It’ll be nice to sleep in an actual bed tonight and wake up refreshed in the morning. I’m not sure what I’ll do as far as sightseeing goes tomorrow. I’ll most likely try to find one or two things within walking distance and then check them out. I read there is a fort further out of town, but I don’t think I’ll try to get there tomorrow. I know there is plenty of things to do around town. I need to get to bed so I can get an early start on the day. I’d like to get up and out of the hotel before it gets too late.

I got an email from B today. I saw it in my inbox right before the train stopped in Jaipur. It was strange. I figured he had meant to send it to someone else. I shouldn’t have responded, but I did anyway. I sent him a message and basically said I think you meant to send this to someone else and that I hope he’s doing well. He replied, which kind of surprised me. He asked where I am and what I’m up to these days. I responded with a short email. I hope that’s the end of it. He’s not a can of worms I want to open again. He’s never on my mind anymore and even after getting the email I have no real feelings for him. I suppose that’s a nice reality check in itself. If he did want back into my life I think I’d turn him down. I don’t think that he does, but if he did I like to think I’d just pass. There were a lot of things I wanted to say to him before leaving, but he wouldn’t give me the chance. I’m over it now.

I took an impromptu art class this morning. It was fun. I’m hoping to look around for some crafts or jewelry or something to buy to give as gifts to friends and family when I go back home. I don’t anticipate buying many people anything, but there are a few people I should really get something for.

Ok, tomorrow is going to be a busy day. I have two full days in Jaipur and I intend to make the most of them.

Gratitude List:
A blast from the past that served to remind me of where I’ve been and where I am now
Being reminded of all the options that are out there and the many different possibilities to explore
An enjoyable art class

I’m tired and ready for bed. Such an exciting life I lead.

Today was great. I went to a fort and a temple outside the city. I hired a taxi from the front desk of the hotel last night. I enjoyed seeing both of them, but didn’t realize that I was going to spend so much time in the car. I don’t think they’re really that far away in KMs or miles, but the roads weren’t great and wound through the hills. It took us 2.5 hours to get there and the same coming back. I only had about an hour to explore this large fort and to take in the immense beauty of the Jain temple. I enjoyed the fort, but the Jain temple was stunning. The taxi driver also stopped at a cell phone store and they were able to get my phone figured out so I can use internet on it again. That I’m really grateful for.

Once I got home I ate some dinner at the restaurant at the hotel. After that I relaxed and took a shower. I had wanted to do an art class, but by the time I made it there all the artists had gone home for the day. I might do one in the morning for a couple hours before my train in the afternoon. I think it would be fun, but I’ll see how I feel about it in the morning.

I’m glad I don’t have another day here. I feel like I’ve seen most of what I wanted to see. I wandered around this evening for a while, but didn’t feel like looking at much of the tourist crap they sell everywhere. I do need to get some gifts for people still. Maybe I’ll find a few things in Jaipur tomorrow.

I also got a massage this evening. I walked by one and a guy showed me the prices inside. He even showed me the non tourist prices and then went down even further from that. I paid 950 rupees for an hour long massage that I quite enjoyed. I’d do that again if I can get bargain the price down at a massage place in another city. I did want to leave and not do business there when he showed me the two different price lists he uses – one for tourists and one for Indians. I’m glad I got the massage and even happier that I have a reference point for what I should pay for a massage in the future. I’d like to get another one soon.

Gratitude List:
Getting to see an amazing temple today
An enjoyable massage
A new city to explore tomorrow

The train ride last night was ok. It was nice to get here early in the morning. After a little confusion at the guesthouse, I was able to get checked in a little early which was nice. I then spent more time than I’d like to recall trying to figure out how to get the internet to work on my phone. I made no progress, but find myself frustrated. It’s nearly impossible to figure out how to get through to an actual person and when I would finally make it to the option that brings me to a customer service rep I’d just sit on hold for a long period. One time I was on hold for 17 minutes before the system – not my phone, dropped the call. Another time I made it to a rep, but he said I had to call another number. I asked to speak with his supervisor and found myself listening to a woman speak in Hindi. She put me on hold when I asked for an English person and then kept coming back on the line, saying something in Hindi and then putting me on hold again. I finally sent a tweet at them which got someone to call me back. The only problem was she couldn’t even answer a simple question – whether or not there is a data network in this area that I could even use. All in all it was terrible. I’m not sure I gained anything by relaying so much of it here. I still haven’t found a resolution with my phone, but I got by without it today. It would have been easier to have it, though.

I went to the city palace today which was cool. I love palaces and this one had many neat designs everywhere. There were a lot of people there, but I still enjoyed it. After the palace I went on a sunset boat ride. It wasn’t worth the money as it was quite expensive. It wasn’t bad or anything, but I wouldn’t do that again.

I rented a taxi for the day tomorrow that is going to take me to a Jain Temple and a fort that are a little outside the city. The driver is supposed to be here at 8:30 am. I need to get to bed so I can get up in the morning and write and get some breakfast before going. I’m excited. The temple is the number 1 thing to see in this area. I paid 1900 rupees for it which is quite a bit for one day. It’s really not much to pay for a taxi driver to take me around from 8:30 am until 5 pm, but it’s more than I anticipated spending on anything while here. I had hoped everything would be pretty close and I wouldn’t have to spend much on transportation. That’s ok though.

Just down the street from where I’m staying there is an art place that has classes. The guy said it’s only 150 rupees an hour. I’m hoping to stop in after I get back tomorrow and sit there for 2-3 hours. It looks really neat!

I also failed to find an atm today. I really need one though since I only have a few rupees left. I do have some US dollars and I exchanged a $20 today so I’d have enough money tomorrow. I still don’t have very much, but that should be enough for lunch and the admission to the places. I’d really like to avoid exchanging any more of the US dollars I have. It would be nice to keep the money for emergencies. The first atm I went to tonight was out of order and the second went through the motions like it was going to give me some money, but then it said ‘invalid card’ and didn’t give me any. I was concerned it would still charge my card, but that doesn’t appear to be the case. Tomorrow I’m sure I can find an atm and get a little more cash.

Gratitude List:
Making it to and around Udaipur without access to the internet on my phone
A full day ahead of me tomorrow
Remaining pretty cool about the problems with my cell service

Omg I’m on a train to Udaipur! I went to the train station this morning and got all my trains sorted out. The guy was super helpful. I told him where I wanted to go and he basically booked the trains and gave me an idea of how long I should stay in each city. It was great! I’m so glad I don’t have to worry about booking a train out as soon as I get into any given place. I like being flexible and able to stay somewhere longer depending on how I much I like the place, but I’ll definitely take this over worrying about getting trains or having to go into an office and wait to book them everywhere I go. One of Ramesh’s friends who plans tours for people looked over my itinerary and thought it was great, too. I imagine I’ll find some places I have too much time and others I’ll wish I could stay longer, but I’m happy with my itinerary. I still have to book hotels everywhere, but that’s ok. I used an app to book the first place in Udaipur and it was pretty simple and quick. It was also nice to be able to pay with my credit card directly on the site. I’m really excited for these next couple of weeks.

I’m also glad to be free of Ramesh. He didn’t get on my nerves nearly as much today, but I’m so grateful to have some space. He’s a really nice guy, but I have been around him so much lately.

He brought me to his sister’s house today. There was a party to celebrate the birth of her son. There was also a buffet! Yay! It was pretty neat to do that. It definitely gave me an insight into the local culture in a way I wouldn’t have gotten by staying in a hotel. I need to email N and thank her soon.

I sent a few emails to people as soon as I got on the train. Long, drawn out emails. It’s ok though. I don’t think most people mind getting them. I have so much free time right and I’ve gotten much better at blathering on and on and on without actually saying anything.

After getting the trains booked I met Ramesh at his church. It was a Pentecostal service. Very different from the Catholic ones I endured as a kid. It was much livelier. I found myself sitting, watching the service while feeling overwhelmed with emotions. I’ve been trying to develop a relationship with my higher power, or God, for quite a while now. I’ve been able to do that to an extent, but being in a church at a service brought up a lot of feelings and I also realized I don’t fully trust God. Not only that, but I also feel a little betrayed over everything that’s happened in this life. I want a better relationship with God. I don’t think the Pentecostal Church is going to be my path there, but who knows. I should look around at churches or spiritual centers when I get back to the US. After the exposure to Buddhism I’ve gotten this last year I’m not sure that’s my path, either. I know I can continue working on my understanding and developing my own idea of God, but it would also be nice to have some help. I’m not sure where that will take me. I am, however, going to try really hard not to just discount church as something I’m not interested in because I have a resentment towards Christianity. I would like to keep an open mind and heart towards it all. I suppose that’s what I should be praying for. Actually, I should simply be praying. I’ve sort of stopped doing that lately. Come to think of it, it’s been quite a while since meditated, too. Definitely since I left Nepal. These next few days I should be able to find some time for it. I love meditating.

Ramesh mentioned wanting to join me in Jaipur which is where I’ll be in a couple days after Udaipur. I wasn’t super excited about it when he first brought it up, but later told him if he wants to join me he’s free to do so. I figure the least I can do is allow him to come stay with me in my hotel for a couple days while I’m in Jaipur. It’s not like it would be that long. I suppose it’s possible he’d decide he wanted to continue going with me, but if that happened I’d probably have to have a conversation with him about it. I don’t want to spend my entire time in India with him. I can’t spend my entire time in India with him. He is a nice guy though and I’m really grateful for his help. I keep thinking if a friend of a friend approached me about someone who would be visiting where I lived, I’d probably offer to meet them for coffee or buy them dinner. I wouldn’t go so far as to put up a complete stranger and go as out of my way as Ramesh has for me. Quite a few people have gone above and beyond in helping me out this past year. I hope to keep that in perspective going forward and offering my help in a way similar to how I’ve been helped out. I have tendencies to be selfish.

Ok, this update has been going on forever. I’m going to bed soon. It’s nearly 10 pm and I feel like I could probably sleep. I’ve been staring at this screen for way too long now.

Gratitude List:
Being on a train to Udaipur
The nice man who shared his dinner with me
The weeks of exploration I have ahead of me

I enjoyed the day in Delhi again. Ramesh was my tour guide. We went to Qutab Minar which was seriously awesome. After, we made our way to the National Gallery of Modern Art. They had a few things there I really liked. I had a hard time walking around today. These massive blisters on my feet hurt a lot. This morning I thought they were better, but it didn’t take long before my feet just hurt. It sucks walking around in the scorching sun while my feet are absolutely killing me. We took more of the motorized rickshaw things, but there was still quite a bit of walking. I’m hoping to book some train tickets somewhere else tomorrow. I might be better off just staying in Delhi another day or two and trying to keep off my feet as much as possible. I know staying inside most of the day and keeping them uncovered so the blisters have lots of time to dry out would also be beneficial. I’m ready to get out of Delhi and could use some space from Ramesh as well. He’s been so helpful and great since I got here, but it’s hard to spend 100% of my time with someone. It doesn’t matter who that person is, if I don’t get quite a bit of time to myself it’s tough.

I just hung some laundry that I washed a minute ago. I’m exhausted, but wanted to wait until it was done before going to bed. I can’t seem to book any tickets online for trains tomorrow, so I’m going to the station bright and early in the morning to try to get it all sorted out. They hold some tickets for tourists. I’m hoping they have some available on one of the trains I’d like to take. It would be great to get a move on. Delhi has been good, but I’m most excited to get out and see the rest of India which looks spectacular. What a wonderful place.

I talked to my mom for a long time tonight which was nice. I’ve been meaning to call my grandma and haven’t made that happen yet. Maybe tomorrow.

If I can’t get a train tomorrow I can always try to leave on Monday. I’m hoping worst case scenario is I go to Jaipur in the evening and then figure out one of the longer train rides in a couple days. I can most likely get on a Jaipur to Udaipur train in a few days. That way I can spend some time in Jaipur and then make my way down to Udaipur before coming back for the Taj Mahal and Varanasi. I should also check to see what’s close to Varanasi. I could pretty easily continue along to Kolkata from that point and then make my way back on a direct train to Delhi and then find my way towards Rishikesh. That would be pretty cool. I have lots of options. I wish I had more time, but that’s ok. I can (and most likely will) be coming back. Who knows, maybe it’ll even be for a longer period of time next time. I could pretty easily see myself roaming around India for quite a while. A 6 month trip would be pretty awesome. I suppose anything is possible. I just have to keep my eyes and ears open for opportunities.

Gratitude List:
Seeing some stunning Islamic architecture today
A relaxed evening after another busy day
Hope that I’ll be leaving Delhi tomorrow

I’ve got feelings. As much as I wished I didn’t and I try to manage them with food and other things, I still have feelings. I booked a flight back to the US today. It leaves on Oct. 24th which gives me 3 full weeks left in India. This adventure is coming to an end. It’s hard. I’m excited for what the future holds.

Today was fun. There was some festival and they burned these big paper machet people after dancing around for a while. I liked it.

I’m exhausted right now. I think I may try to take it easier tomorrow. My feet have massive blisters on them and it hurts a lot to walk. A relaxed day – maybe at a mall watching movies or inside reading books would be really nice.

I’m also thinking about moving to a guesthouse tomorrow. It’s been nice staying here, but I’d like my own space.

Gratitude List:
A busy day with some beautiful sights
Finally pulling the trigger and booking a flight home
Embracing change – regardless of whether it’s good or bad

I’m in Delhi!

I like this place more than I thought I would. Actually, I didn’t think I would like it much at all. It’s nice to be somewhere with infrastructure again. There are roads and a metro here. I do miss Nepal, but there’s a lot to see and do in Delhi.

I went to the Red Fort today. I walked around for what felt like ages. It was neat. It was also very hot – in the upper 90s and sunny. I couldn’t find anywhere to buy water which wasn’t ideal, but I did enjoy visiting the site.

After the Red Fort I went to an area with a bunch of hotels and looked around for one. I found a few that would work ok. They’re really not that expensive either. The one I’d most likely go with is around 1400 rupees/night which is roughly $22. I didn’t love the area though. And I’ve also decided it’s pretty nice staying with Ramesh. We made plans for tomorrow night so I don’t think I’ll move to a hotel then. If I did I’d have to move my stuff during the day and I have plans to come back here tomorrow night. Maybe I’ll stay here tonight and then make train reservations for the next day. I’m not really sure where I’ll go, though. There’s also a lot more stuff to see around Delhi so I’m not in a big hurry to leave. I think I’ll do a day trip to the Taj Mahal, but I could maybe stay in Agra one night while making my way around. We’ll see.

Gratitude List:
Having an Indian SIM card that works
A nice day spent exploring
A new friend