Omg I’m on a train to Udaipur! I went to the train station this morning and got all my trains sorted out. The guy was super helpful. I told him where I wanted to go and he basically booked the trains and gave me an idea of how long I should stay in each city. It was great! I’m so glad I don’t have to worry about booking a train out as soon as I get into any given place. I like being flexible and able to stay somewhere longer depending on how I much I like the place, but I’ll definitely take this over worrying about getting trains or having to go into an office and wait to book them everywhere I go. One of Ramesh’s friends who plans tours for people looked over my itinerary and thought it was great, too. I imagine I’ll find some places I have too much time and others I’ll wish I could stay longer, but I’m happy with my itinerary. I still have to book hotels everywhere, but that’s ok. I used an app to book the first place in Udaipur and it was pretty simple and quick. It was also nice to be able to pay with my credit card directly on the site. I’m really excited for these next couple of weeks.

I’m also glad to be free of Ramesh. He didn’t get on my nerves nearly as much today, but I’m so grateful to have some space. He’s a really nice guy, but I have been around him so much lately.

He brought me to his sister’s house today. There was a party to celebrate the birth of her son. There was also a buffet! Yay! It was pretty neat to do that. It definitely gave me an insight into the local culture in a way I wouldn’t have gotten by staying in a hotel. I need to email N and thank her soon.

I sent a few emails to people as soon as I got on the train. Long, drawn out emails. It’s ok though. I don’t think most people mind getting them. I have so much free time right and I’ve gotten much better at blathering on and on and on without actually saying anything.

After getting the trains booked I met Ramesh at his church. It was a Pentecostal service. Very different from the Catholic ones I endured as a kid. It was much livelier. I found myself sitting, watching the service while feeling overwhelmed with emotions. I’ve been trying to develop a relationship with my higher power, or God, for quite a while now. I’ve been able to do that to an extent, but being in a church at a service brought up a lot of feelings and I also realized I don’t fully trust God. Not only that, but I also feel a little betrayed over everything that’s happened in this life. I want a better relationship with God. I don’t think the Pentecostal Church is going to be my path there, but who knows. I should look around at churches or spiritual centers when I get back to the US. After the exposure to Buddhism I’ve gotten this last year I’m not sure that’s my path, either. I know I can continue working on my understanding and developing my own idea of God, but it would also be nice to have some help. I’m not sure where that will take me. I am, however, going to try really hard not to just discount church as something I’m not interested in because I have a resentment towards Christianity. I would like to keep an open mind and heart towards it all. I suppose that’s what I should be praying for. Actually, I should simply be praying. I’ve sort of stopped doing that lately. Come to think of it, it’s been quite a while since meditated, too. Definitely since I left Nepal. These next few days I should be able to find some time for it. I love meditating.

Ramesh mentioned wanting to join me in Jaipur which is where I’ll be in a couple days after Udaipur. I wasn’t super excited about it when he first brought it up, but later told him if he wants to join me he’s free to do so. I figure the least I can do is allow him to come stay with me in my hotel for a couple days while I’m in Jaipur. It’s not like it would be that long. I suppose it’s possible he’d decide he wanted to continue going with me, but if that happened I’d probably have to have a conversation with him about it. I don’t want to spend my entire time in India with him. I can’t spend my entire time in India with him. He is a nice guy though and I’m really grateful for his help. I keep thinking if a friend of a friend approached me about someone who would be visiting where I lived, I’d probably offer to meet them for coffee or buy them dinner. I wouldn’t go so far as to put up a complete stranger and go as out of my way as Ramesh has for me. Quite a few people have gone above and beyond in helping me out this past year. I hope to keep that in perspective going forward and offering my help in a way similar to how I’ve been helped out. I have tendencies to be selfish.

Ok, this update has been going on forever. I’m going to bed soon. It’s nearly 10 pm and I feel like I could probably sleep. I’ve been staring at this screen for way too long now.

Gratitude List:
Being on a train to Udaipur
The nice man who shared his dinner with me
The weeks of exploration I have ahead of me