The bus ride back to Pokhara was much less than enjoyable.  The A/C didn’t work and the guy refused to let me sit in one of the front seats.  I ended up sitting in the very back row in the middle seat so as to have enough room to stretch my legs.

The bus ride took over 8 hours.  It’s beautiful going through the mountains, but it was constant turning and by the end of it I had a headache and didn’t feel very good.  I came right home, ate a bunch of chocolate and some cheesecake I bought from the cheese lady, and took a nap.  The nap was wonderful.

Afterwards, I went to this cafe I really like.  I sat down, got a menu and then debated what to order.  I really wanted some chicken chilly since I discovered how good it is while in Lumbini.  It’s basically an appetizer, but it cost about the same as the meal I usually get.  I sat there thinking about how I should just be a fatty and order the chicken chilly and chicken tikka masala (which I adore) when an attractive man walked in.  Someday I would like to have one of my own, and in order to do that I’m going to need to lose some weight.  Not because no one could love me while I’m this fat, but rather because it would be nearly impossible for me to allow someone to love me while I’m this fat.  I feel gross and repulsive nearly all the time.  Seldom is there a reprieve from that feeling.

I decided to order just the chicken chilly and some tea.  I enjoyed it, but it wasn’t quite as tasty as it was at the guesthouse in Lumbini.  Tomorrow I’ll satiate my fix for chicken tikka masala.

I talked to the tall, young attractive man for a little while.  He’s German.  I want one.  Preferably sooner rather than later.

Tomorrow I will do at least one thing that will support my becoming more comfortable with my body.

Gratitude List:

The motivation needed to make the changes required to be at a place (mentally and physically) where dating is an option

Future Nepal plans falling into place

Relaxing back in Pokhara