I was really hoping I’d be in bed a long time ago. I felt tired earlier and it seemed like it was definitely going to happen, but then I somehow managed to fritter away my time. A lot of it was spent chatting on this stupid gay app. I don’t understand why I’m doing it, either. Probably because I’m lonely, but it’s totally stupid because it’s unlikely I’ll meet any of these guys. Some of them are super hot and I’m horny so meeting someone for sex would be something I’d do right now, but I’m also so out of shape and have such a low body image right now I’d never send someone naked or shirtless pics of myself and that’s pretty much a requirement of any online hookup these days. It wasn’t just a couple years back, but now it seems to definitely be that way. Maybe it’s just because I’m in Turkey.

I had a great day. I finally went to Topkapi Palace which was amazing. I really liked it, except some of the tiling was a little much. I’m going to meet Y tomorrow after I go into the school to finish up everything. I hope they don’t try to fuck me over on the pay. I really don’t think they will. I’m going to miss her. We’ve only been hanging out for a short while, but she seems like a kindred spirit. I wish I’d met her sooner.

I’m excited for Nepal. I’m glad that I have everything booked as far as flights and the meditation thing goes. I still need to figure out a place to stay once I get there, but I don’t imagine that will be too tough. It’s going to be really sad to leave Istanbul. I was excited to leave Thailand and excited to leave China, but leaving here is a different story. I figure I can always come back. And in all likelihood, I will. Hopefully when I’ve got some more flexibility as far as my job and income are concerned. I know I’m going to figure that out eventually. I’m not cut out for a normal, 9 to 5 job.