I’m really going home soon. Wow. I have a lot of feelings about it all. I went and watched what turned out to be an absolutely terrible movie tonight (I seriously debated leaving during intermission). During the movie I ate a shitload of candy… my wonderful way of dealing with the upcoming stress.

One of the first things I want to do when I get back to the US is go to an OA meeting. Things have been out of control for quite a while. I need to stop trying to manage my mood and emotions with food. It’s simply not working and the ‘escape’ it provides me is only fleeting. I should stop trying to escape and start living in reality.

I still have hope that I’m going to find something wonderful to do in the US. I keep thinking about moving to Chicago and pursuing some writing options there. It’s what excites me the most. I’m not quite sure how to make Chicago work, but that will become more clear as time goes on. I really need to find something that will allow me to explore my creative side and ideally work with other funny, creative people. I’m also desperately hoping to start dating again. I feel ready to date, even though I’m terribly out of shape. I can’t really say I’m super fat or anything – in all honesty, I’m not (despite how I feel!), but it’s been so long since I regularly worked out that I have a really low body image right now.

I’m meeting a friend for some sightseeing and tourist stuff tomorrow. I think it’ll be really fun. It’ll also get me up and out of bed in the morning which will be really nice. I still need to determine what my last day of work is going to be. Ideally I’m hoping for next Friday. I really don’t want to continue doing this job and I’d like a little bit of time to say goodbye to the city and prepare to leave. I’m still throwing around the idea of going to Budapest and maybe Prague before I leave Europe, but we’ll see whether I decide to make that happen. I’m going to be super broke very soon so it’s probably not a great idea. Thank God I still have all that retirement money from my old job. I really don’t want to have to use it, but it looks like I won’t have much of a choice.