I’m not sure I’m up for this job. It’s going to be a lot of work. Like, a lot of work. On the one hand it’s an opportunity to become a much better teacher – the school has resources and teacher development, but I was also there from 11 am until 10 pm tonight which was way too long. Tomorrow I will not be there for nearly as long. I am planning to watch a teacher from 1:30 pm until 2:30 pm and then one or two other teachers in the evening. I’ll be there at the latest until maybe 8 om which won’t be as bad, but the hours of this job are going to be kind of insane. I’ve also been scheduled my first one-to-one student. I’d be much more excited about it, but the hours are right away in the morning at 8 am until 9:30 am on Tuesday and Thursday. I will then have more classes in the evening from 7-10 pm. I don’t know what other hours I’ll be teaching on any other days. I guess we’ll see.

There’s a part of me that’s been wanting to go back home for the simple reason that I feel like I could pursue something cool in the United States. Like maybe my time abroad has come to an end, for now. If I was back in the United States I could be doing stand up comedy and taking writing classes. I could move back to NJ and try to pursue that or I could move to Chicago and take classes there. I don’t know. I would like to work hard and become really good at something. I know that moving back wouldn’t be ideal, but I’m not sure I can make this job and staying in Istanbul work. I’m also a little homesick, but that’s another story. Being able to date again would be awesome, too. I really want to be dating. I have started using a gay dating app again. I’ve been having conversations with a few different guys. I don’t really see myself dating anyone (or hooking up with anyone) until I’ve started working out again and feel better about my body. I’m going to find a gym to join near the school. Hopefully soon. That way I can get start exercising regularly again. I’m totally over this situation with my weight right now. I think today completes day 6 of no sugar… I’m really grateful for that.