Today was spent in a dark, kinda gross cinema sucking off Turkish guys. I did get outside by the sea a little bit. I am not going to allow myself to feel guilty about it. It was a day well spent. I’ve been horny lately and have needed some kind of release. I probably didn’t need to spend as long as I did there, but I’m ok with how I spent today.

Tomorrow I am going to spend the day by the sea. I plan to make my way to the beach in the morning. I’ll leave my phone at the pension so that I don’t worry about someone stealing it. I bought some ziploc bags today that I can put some money into when I leave so that I can swim with the money in my pocket. That way I’ll only have to leave my shirt and shoes unattended while I’m swimming. I’m really looking forward to this. It’s going to be awesome. I’d also like to make it to some cool ruins around here. I asked about a tour today, but they are pretty expensive and I’m not sure a tour would be quite what I want to do. We’ll see. There is an AA meeting tomorrow I’d kind of like to make it to. It’s in the afternoon. Maybe someone at the meeting will have a suggestion or know of how I can get somewhere easily that won’t cost me a million dollars.

I also bought a couple new shirts today. I found 2 short sleeve button down shirts that fit me so I’m excited about that. I really, really need some new clothes. I’ll probably buy some more when I get back to Istanbul, too. So many of the clothes I’ve been wearing since leaving the US just need to be thrown away. I’ve been wearing them for years.

Ok, and with that I’m off to bed. Woot woot! I slept like shit last night so I’m hoping to get a better nights rest tonight. I’ll be in bed earlier so that will be nice at least.

I almost forgot! Last night I had a dream that I was staying somewhere and then there were mice on the floor and I was like “I’m not sure I can stay here anymore.” The next thing I know instead of mice there are scorpions walking all over the floor. I think I was in a hotel of some kind. It was strange, but it made me think about my current situation and that the paths I’d like to take (or the ones I’d consider walking down) are all scary because there are things that could potentially hurt me. Like I’m stuck at a standstill because I’m afraid if I choose something things will go very wrong. Anyway…..