I had a really nice day. I slept in and after getting up did morning pages and then meditated. I sat for a full 40 minutes again this morning and then went into a short Reiki session. It was a really nice way to start the day.

I ended up meeting a friend of a friend this afternoon. We ran around and did some touristy stuff. A lot of it was stuff I’d already done, but it was fun to do it again. And most of it was stuff I’d been hoping to do again anyway. We went through the Blue Mosque and took a boat ride on the Bosphorous. I really enjoyed spending the day with him and doing those things. I haven’t spent a lot of time with someone like that in a long time. I really felt a lot more like my old self – joking and able to just relax and enjoy the day. I haven’t felt like I’ve really been able to do that so much this past year. It was really wonderful to feel like my old sense of humor is coming back. I miss it, a lot. This city is so beautiful though and I really like being here. The food is delicious and there are many, many attractive men around. It’s a great place to heal and just enjoy life. I’m grateful to be here and to be able to have and enjoy this experience for what it is. How wonderful.

And with that I’m off to bed. I’m tired from another long day of walking. I will hopefully spend some more time with J tomorrow bumming around Istanbul or even just being lazy.

I’ve basically been sitting at home not doing much of anything for the last few hours. I had planned to go and see a movie, but I got an email from the guy I’m staying with saying that he had left his keys outside and could I come and let him in. I wasn’t far from home at that point so I walked back here. By the time I got back he had already found his way inside. That was several hours ago. I’ve since been sitting and dicking around on my computer while chatting with this random guy who happens to be in Istanbul and is a friend of a friend. It’s actually been quite nice and relaxing. On the one hand, I feel I’ve done nothing of substance since getting back here, but on the other hand I feel like this is exactly what I needed to do tonight. I’ve been going out a lot and going to meetings and meeting people. I really just needed a night to sit and decompress from all of that. I could have drawn or done something more than just fritter my time away, but this has been nice. I’ve liked it. I also don’t feel claustrophobic or like I’ve got to get out of this room. In fact, I could sit around and do this for hours longer. If I wasn’t so tired, that is. I’m pretty sure I’m headed to bed in a few minutes. It’s been a good day.

I went to the Asian side with some fellow program people today. It was nice. I’m glad I got to spend some time with them. I’m not sure if I’ll go to the meeting tomorrow. I’m leaning towards skipping it, but we’ll see. I don’t have much of anything planned for the day so I’ll just see what comes.

Oh, but I almost forgot: I’ve got plans to meet a guy from Kazakhstan tomorrow. It’s basically a hookup. I wouldn’t be surprised if it falls through. Although I’d kind of prefer it not to. I’m a sexual being and it’s time I get more in touch with that. I’ve tried ignoring that fact this last year of my life and, although it’s been a good year, I have missed it. Missed it dearly.

I went to a gay sauna/turkish bath today. Things got, well, interesting. I’m glad I went and had a good time, but don’t feel like I need to go to another any time soon. I guess who knows. Tomorrow I might be singing a different tune. We’ll see.

Afterwards I went to the AA meeting. It was nice. Friday is a speaker meeting. I haven’t been to a speaker meeting in quite some time. I enjoyed it. After the meeting a few of us went out to eat and then bowling. All in all it was a good night. I think I’ll really start to like these AA Istanbul people.

I have enjoyed bumming around these last few days, but I do need to get serious at some point about trying to figure out an income. My money really isn’t going to last forever. In fact, it might not last that long at all. Hmm.

I got everything taken care of with the cell phone registration. I’m really grateful I did, too. It’s nice to knock another thing off the list. Now if I just find an income everything will be great and wonderful.

I’m not too worried about the income, but I’m reaching a point where I’ve sort of run out of things I can occupy my time with and legitimately feel like I’ve got to do them and not that I’m just avoiding trying to figure out how I’m going to support myself.

If I could do it selling art one way or another I’d totally start working on that. I just feel like there’s a really big gap between where I am now and earning money as an artist. Maybe that gap will be bridged sometime soon. That would be pretty awesome.

I get so tired at night. It seems to sneak up on me, too. Like I’m doing alright and feeling ok and then bam. I can barely keep my eyes open. I have a feeling it’s got to do with the time change. Last night I was awake until 2 am. That’s like 7 am China time. I then woke up at 7 or 8 am wishing I was still asleep. I’m excited to go to bed soon. I’m way too tired to stay up any longer.

I went to a meeting on Istiklal street tonight. It was a small meeting, but a really nice group of people. I think it’ll prove to be a great place for me. A girl from the meeting offered to take me to the government office where I can register my phone. I really appreciate her helping me with it. I don’t think I could navigate that on my own.

I’ve been coughing the past few days. I have to wonder if it wasn’t just my lungs clearing all the China crud out. I’m grateful I seem to be mostly through with that.

Today was a good day. I rented the large room in the apartment I looked at yesterday! I was concerned he would have rented it already, but I heard back from him today and have since gotten all moved in. It was another day with lots of walking and I’m exhausted right now because of it.

I’m really excited to live here. Tonight feels a little awkward because it’s my first night here and I’m getting used to sharing this apartment with a total stranger (one who doesn’t speak the best English, too), but I think I’m really going to like being here. This room is big and spacious which is super awesome. I hope that I can stay here for a while. I think it’s really a place I could get some work done – either writing or drawing. It’s certainly got the room for it.

I went and saw the new Noah movie tonight. I’ve hung out with this Turkish guy twice now. He’s super nice and has been really helpful, but he’s not really my type. I don’t want to lead him on. I just don’t really see it leading to a romantic relationship. I like hanging out with him and he’s been really helpful. I guess I’ll let that develop and see where it leads.

I sent a friend in Minneapolis and email for her birthday today. We haven’t had much contact in the last year, year and half. She sent quite a long message back which was really awesome. I miss talking to her. She kind of decided she didn’t want to be friends anymore and basically everyone knew about it before me. It was actually pretty lame, but I’m grateful she sent me a nice email today. It was really wonderful to hear from her. She also mentioned a 10 day trip she’s taking next year and that she has to save up some vacation days for it. I’m really glad I don’t live in a world that restricted by a job anymore. I’m so over that situation.

Gratitude List:
I’m grateful I’ve finally gotten settled in an apartment I think will be a great place to live.
I’m grateful for the nice, meaningful message I got back from M
I’m grateful I no longer have to hoard vacation days so I can take a trip somewhere.

I did a lot of walking again today. Like a lot of walking. It was nice.

I had contacted 3 people about apartments, but none of them could show me the place until the evening so I decided to spend the day doing more sightseeing type stuff. I really enjoyed it. I walked from where I’m staying through Taksim, over the bridge and to the spice market. I also stopped in a Mosque in Eminonu. After, I walked to Topkapi Palace. It was great to walk through the grounds. I sat at a place overlooking the Bosphorous and drank tea as well. I did that last time I was in Istanbul and really enjoyed it.

So I saw 3 places. It felt just like househunters! I’ve decided on the one I want, but now I have to wait and make sure the guy didn’t find someone else to rent it to in the meantime. Since my phone died I couldn’t call him. I sent him an email when I got home. I’ll try to call him in the morning. The place certainly isn’t perfect, but after several days of a pretty intensive apartment searching I’m fairly confident this is about the best I’ll do. Plus, the place is large and there’s quite a bit of space. I don’t think I’d do well sharing a small space with someone and moving into their territory.

Ok, so now it’s just about hoping the place isn’t gone. If it is I’ll have to keep looking. The other places wouldn’t work, in my opinion. One the guy was a little weird. The other had 5 rooms – 2 Turkish guys and 2 Italian guys currently live there. They had a bong on the kitchen table. Enough said.

Gratitude List:
I’m grateful I was able to find a place I could live in.
I’m grateful I got to walk around the city for fun – not just to look for another apartment to rent.
I’m grateful I was able to talk to both Liz and my mother this evening.

I’m so exhausted. I walked all around the city again today. Tomorrow I will have to try to take it easier, although I know I most likely won’t. I just really want to get this apartment figured out.

I looked at 2 places today. One was a total dump and not as advertised at all. I am not even considering that place. The other was actually quite nice. There wasn’t much for common spaces, but the rooms were clean and the furniture was new. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have a room available for another 3 weeks. I don’t think that’s going to work.

I am going to see a couple more places tomorrow. Hopefully one of them will work.

I also hung out with two guys today. Both from scruff. The first guy helped me a lot with finding the apartment and then getting some internet and phone service on my phone. I was with him for a long time and I’m really grateful for the help he gave me. The other guy I basically just walked around with for a while. He was pretty cute. He had a large, bushy beard. He was younger and into fashion.

I also made it to a meeting which was awesome. All in all a busy, but good, day. I’m getting a little concerned I won’t ever find a place that works to rent, but I think I just need to be patient. Something will pan out, eventually.

Gratitude List:
E and all the help he gave me today
Nice weather after a rainy morning
Making it to my first meeting in Istanbul

My first full day in Istanbul! I had a nice time, for the most part.

This morning I met a guy from the program who is looking for a roommate. We had breakfast and then he showed me the apartment. He was an interesting guy. I didn’t really like the apartment and it was at the top of what I’m willing to pay. I don’t think I’ll move in with him. I just couldn’t see myself living there.

Afterwards I met another guy who is looking to rent a room in his apartment. The apartment was a bit further out than I’d like to be. It would maybe be ok. It was less money and a nicer place, but the room was still not great. I told him I’d think about it, but really I’d prefer something else.

I have to admit, today was a bit disheartening. I only looked at two places, but it was difficult to coordinate getting to them. I didn’t sign up for phone service because it sounds tricky so I can’t call anyone and I don’t have access to the internet when I’m not at the hostel. That means I had to come back to the hostel many times to check the internet and do more searching. I sent out a few more messages so will hopefully be able to look at a few more places tomorrow. I’d really like to get out of this cramped hostel as soon as possible.

It’s a pain trying to coordinate looking at these apartments. I will try to turn this over to God and see how that goes. I also plan to go to a meeting tomorrow in the evening. It’s actually only a block away from where I am staying. I figure I can ask for help and any advice from people at the meeting. Someone might be able to give me some advice.

Otherwise, I’m just trying not to get stressed about this. As much as I’d like to be settled somewhere, I figure it’s better to find some place I’d really enjoy living than choose something so that I can quit looking. We’ll see how tomorrow goes.

I also walked around Taksim and Isiktal(sp?) for quite a while today and then again tonight. I can’t believe how hot Turkish guys are. And they’re everywhere. Wow. Damn.

I made it to Istanbul! It was a very long day of traveling. I’m excited and grateful to be here.

There is a super hot Russian guy staying in the same room as me at the hostel. I walked into the room, which is tiny, and he’s shirtless with nothing but these tiny, tight little boxer briefs on. I tried not to stare. I really did.

My contacts are freaking out right now. I really want to go to bed. I’d also like to continue staring at the hot Russian guy. He’s in his bed now which I don’t have a great view of.

LA Song by Beth Hart just came on.

I get it. I hear you God.