I’m tired and, like usual, super excited about going to bed. I sometimes wonder if it’s not a bit unhealthy how excited I get about going to sleep for the night.

I ate a bunch of sugar today and now I feel uncertain and like I’m floundering. I really think it’s probably due to the sugar. Like it just fucks with my mood and now I have this unsettled, uneasy feeling inside me. It’s not fun. It makes me feel like I’m doomed and any effort to work towards something more is bound to fail. In fact, right now, I don’t even think I could try to look at freelancing work or writing of any kind without a ‘can’t do’ attitude. Tomorrow I’m going to avoid this kind of sugar buzz. And I might be wrong, perhaps it’s not even the sugar that’s done this to me. I think I’ll feel better tomorrow.

I had a nice time with Jordan before he left. It was relaxed and fun. I do really love this city. And I’m starting to make some more friends so that’s good. It’s nice to start seeing some more familiar faces at the meetings. I’d really like to start making more friends, but I should also spend some time looking at some kind of work and trying to figure that out. Maybe I’ll stay in tomorrow and take a look at online stuff and do some drawing. I’d really like to do some drawing. I’ve got to try to get myself on to some kind of schedule and plan. I’d also like to write a blog post. Tomorrow that will be my goal. I don’t need to actually post it, but I’d like to write one at least. Or get the start of one down. I’ve got to do something.