I am tired. It was a long day at work teaching 4 classes. After work I met with Chris which I really enjoyed. We have such interesting conversations and he’s so smart. It’s always fascinating.

We met at Ganesha and afterwards walked to Starry because I wanted to use my gift card. Starry ended up being open, but the bakery was closed. There is also a restaurant that I wasn’t aware of. We sat and drank this wonderful brown sugar and ginger tea and ate ice cream. It was great and allowed the conversation to continue. I’m really going to miss him. I can hopefully keep in touch. It would be wonderful if he came to Istanbul, too. I could be his tour guide around the city. That would be fun.

God is fucking with me. At least that’s what I’ve decided. It’s time I let go of my past. Really, what I need to do is forgive myself. Songs keep popping up on my ipod that remind me of the time I was crazy and that I still haven’t quite made peace with it all. I have this notion that I need to write a book or something more significant about the experience – at least relay the pain of it to someone else in order to let it go, but in reality I don’t need to do any of those things. All I really need to do is forgive myself and everyone else involved in the matter. I’m ready to forgive myself and let go of those events. It’s something that happened to me, it doesn’t define who I am. Just like a snake sheds its skin, I can shed the past that’s been haunting me all of these years. Something to think about, anyway.

Ok, it’s late and I have to get up early to teach for my last day. I’m extremely grateful I only have 2 classes tomorrow and then I’m done. Dinner afterwards with the other teachers will be nice and then I’ll be gone before I know it. I still have a lot of cleaning and packing to get done, but everything always gets done one way or another so I suppose I don’t need to worry about it too much. And before I know it, I’ll be in Istanbul. Woo hoo! Freedom is at hand. I’m grateful for second chances!