Today was relaxing and everything, but kind of a dud. I mean I didn’t do much of anything until I met up with some friends for dinner and a movie in our neighborhood. I did end up having a nice Chinese guy over I’d met a couple weeks ago. That was sort of fun.

I’m stubborn. And I feel like I need to let go of some things. I view the world much differently than I have in the past, but there are still things that I just have to let go. I don’t know why I’m so reluctant to do so. These ideas that are so rooted in my past and who I am don’t serve me well today. They also aren’t operating on the surface anymore, but I haven’t escaped them entirely, either. So, here are a few new operating rules I plan to go by from now on:

I deserve to be happy.
I am capable of loving and allowing myself to be loved.
I am worthy of love.
I deserve to live the life I want to live.
I deserve to have my dreams come true.
I am a smart, funny, attractive man any guy would be lucky to date.
I do not need to fear the world around me or the people in it.
As long as I follow my heart my emotional, physical, spiritual and financial needs will be met.
I can allow for God to do for me what I cannot do for myself.

These last two are especially important for me to keep in mind right now. I’m flying to Istanbul soon without knowing where I’ll live or how I’ll manage to support myself when I get there. I trust that there is a plan and that it will be revealed when I’m ready. My intuition is leading me back to Istanbul for a reason. I do not know what that reason is right now. I do not need to know. I have all the resources I need to take the next step. Everything else I can let God take care of for me. I’ll just work on heeding his call. I’ll allow him to work out the details.

What a blessed life I live. What a blessed world surrounds me. I’m lucky I get to spend the rest of my life surrounded by it. I spent the first 30 years on my own. I’m grateful I’ve got someone else by my side now. Someone who is in the business of providing miracles. I like miracles.