It’s a short week at work because we have Saturday and Sunday off. Saturday and Sunday also happen to be our busiest teaching days so a lot of time on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday is spent preparing for these classes. Since we don’t teach this week, and don’t have to prepare, the last two days at work have just dragged on. Today was no different.

I went and got a foot massage over lunch. It was a guy that gave me the massage and he kept talking to me in Chinese the whole time. He was adorable. And even though I don’t speak a word of Chinese, he just kept asking me questions for over an hour. I’ve been keeping people at bay lately – especially when it comes to intimacy, but spending so much time with this cute Chinese guy got me all turned around in the head. I downloaded jack’d which is an app that’s popular with Chinese guys and started chatting with some tonight. I really just wanted to have someone come over to fool around with, but really I’d like a lot more than that. I did end up chatting with one guy who I’ll hopefully meet soon. I was horny so the conversation went to a place it wouldn’t normally go, but I’d gladly meet him for something outside the bedroom. And who knows, maybe when I wake up tomorrow I’ll be over it and decide I no longer want to meet someone. I guess we’ll see. It would be nice to fool around with someone again. The last experience I had didn’t go very well – the guy was this worked out Chinese guy who spends a ton of time in the gym and I ended up feeling extremely self-conscious of my out of shape, flabby body.

I’m actually starting to feel better about my body, too. I’m not sure if it was the breakdown a few days ago when I felt like I couldn’t go on looking the way I do, or if the stairs and trying to eat better has finally started to produce some results, but I do feel better about it and I’m gaining some confidence back. I’m also feeling in a better place mentally and able to put myself out there more and get rejected without having it bother me as much. I’m not sure if that’s going to last forever, but I plan to enjoy it while it’s here.