I went to Babylon yesterday. For the first while I was able to keep my sense of humor about it, but not long after getting there I was totally over that situation. There were a few hot guys there, but I’m so uncomfortable and shy in those situations nothing was going to happen. I really view the whole place as an obstacle course I walk through while trying to avoid having any contact with any of the other guys there. I really hope that crossfit is able to help me feel better and more confident about how I look and feel. There have been times in the past that I’ve had more confidence. Maybe I can make it back to that.

The other problem is that although I’m horny and want to fool around with guys, it’s really not the intimacy I crave. Today I will work on my résumé. With any luck I can make a quick departure from Bangkok. I’m not sure another city will prove to be any better, but this certainly isn’t the place for me. But, on a positive note, I’ve at least started to hate being in Bangkok less. I still don’t like it, but at least I’m not so focused on how much I dislike it. So, there is that, I guess.

Gratitude List:
A good lunch at the buffet across the street
A nice sleep without a morning alarm
A somewhat nice and peaceful walk through the park