I finally made it to Chiang Mai. The train ride ended up taking 18 hours which is 4 hours longer than it was supposed to. Thankfully I was plenty comfortable the whole time, I just wasn’t anticipating (or wanting) to be on the train for that long. In all likelihood when I do decide to go back to Bkk I’ll be flying. Not that the train was unpleasant, but flying would just be a lot quicker and easier.

After checking into the hotel and taking a shower I decided to walk to a meeting. It was a pretty good meeting. The people all seemed nice enough. I should have joined them for fellowship after the meeting, but I decided to skip it. Apparently I’d rather just stew by myself right now than be around people.

I’m in this mood right now where I’m just not happy. And it really doesn’t have much to do with being in Chiang Mai versus being anywhere else. I’m homesick and sick of traveling. It would be nice to have a routine. To start working out again and finding ways to relax. I just feel like a homeless tourist right now and it’s not great. Once I’m done eating I plan to go back to the hotel and just play around on my computer in the air conditioning. Or maybe I’ll get a massage first. I could go for a massage and they appear to be even less expensive here than they were in Bkk. I had wanted to go and see a movie, but I couldn’t find a theater within walking distance. I just feel like relaxing right now. Tomorrow I have to do a couple things, but hopefully it’ll be a nice, relaxing day as well.

What if I’m never happy? I really thought leaving the US and coming to Thailand would be such a great adventure. That I’d be so inspired exploring a new culture and learning more about myself and the world around me. I’m beginning to wonder if happiness isn’t something that plans to elude me forever. Like I’ll have short stints where I’m able to find it, but won’t be able to sustain it in any real way. I hope that doesn’t prove to be the case. I guess only time will tell. I mean logically speaking this feeling will pass. And really, it probably won’t even take that long to pass. I hope, anyway.

Gratitude List:
Getting off that fucking train
Making it to a meeting
Live music with dinner