I’m at a retreat in Connecticut so this is a phone update.

It’s been a great day! I made my way into the city and found where the bus was leaving from. There are a couple familiar faces here, but no one that I know very well so when I got to the bus while everyone was outside socializing I went and sat inside the bus by myself. For a while I was really wishing I’d stayed home. I have never done that well in social situations and I seem to have an even harder time when it’s a situation that involves a lot of gay men. I did a great job of sucking it up and introducing myself to people. Actually, all day I’ve done well getting to know people and not running away and isolating myself because I feel uncomfortable. I’ve gotten to know quite a few people already so tomorrow should be even easier. I have a feeling by Sunday I’ll feel like an entirely new person. All of the workshops and wellness things they have going on also look great! I am excited to take part in them tomorrow.

I went to a meeting at midnight and the speaker talked a lot about how nervous he was and how difficult it is putting yourself in a situation like this. Nearly everyone who shared afterward spoke about how it’s been difficult for them as well. I sometimes forget that I’m not the only one that has a hard time in social situations where I don’t know many people. It’s good to keep that in perspective.

Gratitude list:
The ability to push through the discomfort and make a bunch of new friends
A deeper sense of spirituality
The desire to be a winner