I woke up last Tuesday with a hankering to go somewhere…. Found myself on a flight to Istanbul from JFK less than 24 hours later. This is how I’m choosing to live my life. I love it!

I met a guy! I’m 30 years old and I’ve spent 30 valentine’s days single. I don’t want to spend another 30 that way. I can’t spend another 30 that way. I need your help!

I recently gave up working – and more importantly the idea that I need to. That said, I’ll have to figure out a way to support myself – and B. If I’m not going to work, I certainly don’t want him to. I want to write. It gives me the flexibility I need, removes the boss I can’t handle and who knows, maybe someday I’ll change the world. Maybe you’ll be able to help me do that, seeing as how you’ve already done it yourself. I’m extremely grateful for the work you’re doing. You are an Angel D__. A real life Angel! And I am, too. So is B.

This world has systematically destroyed every dream I ever had. It shut me down for an extremely long time. I’ve had to work past a lot of issues to be where I am today, and truth be told, I shouldn’t be here today. I put so much effort into destroying myself I simply can’t believe I survived. Somehow I did. I’m grateful I did, for whatever reason. I can’t believe I’m saying this D__, but I’m grateful to be alive! I love myself! And, of course, the world around me. I do love this world, it just needs to be changed. And it’s time I throw my voice into it and start helping the rest to make that change.

I’ve got an idea. Maybe a crazy idea, I don’t know. I’ve decided I’m no longer allowed to judge what’s crazy or not. I’m just going with it from this point on.

I love this man, B, who flew all the way to Istanbul to meet me. I’ve only known him for a couple weeks, but I love him. This, coming from a guy who’s 30 years old and has never been in a long term relationship. It’s a remarkable step to be able to take. And I’m grateful to be able to take it.

Bliss. I’ve known what that word means nearly my entire life, but I’ve never felt what that word means until now. Holding Benjamin in my arms is bliss. Pure, unadulterated bliss. I have finally felt love and it feels wonderful. I’ve also decided all of those people who say that two men can’t get married, can’t love each other, have never felt true love in their hearts because if they had they wouldn’t try to deny anyone else from having it, finding it, or being able to love. I feel extremely sad for them. Perhaps I’ll even start praying for them. That would seem fitting, wouldn’t it?

What I need, D__, are resources. Benjamin and I have a plan! We want to move to Germany and not work for 3 months. To learn about each other, about love. I wanted to come to you first since you have those resources. And, of course, because you are an Angel. Be it in the form of an advance on a book, or simply as an extension of the Trevor project, I’d like for you to help make this crazy dream possible. What I’d like to do is document our move and our love. Export it to the world – for all the world to see. I really like writing letters – letters home, letters to friends, letters to you.

I started a blog about 6 months ago with the goal of getting into the habit of writing down my thoughts and emotions on a regular basis. I committed to one post a day for a year. I don’t edit or waste time on perfection. Quick and to the point has always been my goal. No bullshit, really. This is not something I share with people. Recently, I have shared it with a few. Much like coming out, it’s hard to bare your soul to the world. But, I’m ready. I spent so long living in fear and closed hearted. Now, I’m trying to live from a place of vulnerability. And I am. It’s truly a gift.

So, if you’re game, I’d commit to selling you my soul. It’s a beautiful soul. I like it very much. Do with it as you please. I trust you.

Please check out my blog. Things got most interesting after I met Benjamin. Really, from 2/1/2013 on would be a great place to start. That’s when I really started to love. And to live. I’m a very visual person, so I’ll attach a few pictures. Please don’t share these. I haven’t asked B’s permission, but I really want to find a way to make this 3 months work. And I hope you can provide that.