I’m grateful to be sober for many reasons. One thing I used to hate when I would drink is that I’d black out and not know what happened. I would wake up in the morning with only a vague recollection of the previous night’s adventures and have to piece together what happened through conversations with friends. I’d always try to not let on to the fact I couldn’t remember anything if possible, but my friends always knew. I’d call one of them I’d been with the night before to figure out who I needed to apologize to, who I needed to avoid for a while and who I should just try to avoid seeing ever again. It wasn’t much fun. Since becoming sober I don’t have to do that anymore which is great because I absolutely hated not remembering what had happened or what I’d done. I keep thinking about yesterday and an experience I had that was similar to when I was drinking. I think I had a conversation with my doctor while I was pretty fucked up from the anesthesia and I have no idea what I said or did. I’m not worried that I acted strange or did anything totally out of character, but it’s unsettling to think that I had a conversation with her that I completely don’t remember anything about. I wouldn’t have even suspected I’d had a conversation with her, but one of the nurses mentioned something and in the instructions for when I left the hospital in huge font it said the elliptical machine is ok to use, but that I can’t run.

Gratitude List:
My parents
Pistachios
Not having to go outside in the cold for the next few days