A new opportunity has come on my radar the last few days. A woman gave me a book, which I read. The book was written by this guy who helped found this spiritual community in Scotland. I’d like to go live there for a few months or years. It could maybe even take the place of Thailand, but we’ll see about that. I still really like the Thailand idea. This other opportunity could be a before or after Thailand adventure. We’ll see how that unfolds. Hopefully the next few days will provide some clarity into where I should focus my efforts.
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We went to a play tonight and then karaoke. Both were really fun. If it wasn’t so late I’d share a lot about both of those experiences.

The play was about high school students. The two main characters were these guys who fall in love. One is the jock type and can’t come to terms with the fact that he’s gay. It was good. I’m very grateful to be alive today. Just like the jock in the play, growing up gay took a huge emotional toll on me and I’m lucky to have survived that. I was depressed a lot growing up and well into my 20s so it’s really miracle that I survived.

I remember thinking at times growing up, especially when I couldn’t really face my own problems, how much better my life would be if I had had to survive some type of adversity. If I heard about a story of someone overcoming some huge obstacle or situation, I found myself wishing I’d had to do the same. That if only I had to survive something I’d have a reason to stand up and be strong. The funny thing is, I did have a reason – many of them, I just never recognized them as such. I do now. I’m grateful to have had obstacles to overcome so that I have a depth to myself today I otherwise wouldn’t have.

I had hoped to state all of that in a much more eloquent, thought out matter. Unfortunately it’s 4 am here and I want to get up and go to a meditation tomorrow. It’s not very early, but I haven’t had to set an alarm in quite a while and tomorrow I’ll have to (for 11 am….) to make sure I make it there on time. I’m really looking forward to the meditation, but I also don’t want to be super tired for it. I should get about 7 hours of sleep so I’ll be ok. The meditation is about setting your intentions for 2013 and “to listen to the voice of your soul which is always directing our lives if we stop to listen.” I can’t wait!

Gratitude List:
Processing emotions through karaoke!
Wonderful opportunities to meditate.
Breaking free of old habits that are no longer working.