So I used a friend’s facebook account to check this guy out I’ve been chatting with. Most of his account was locked down, but there was some information I could access. I immediately fell into old patterns. I could see guys he’d recently become friends with and I couldn’t help but start comparing myself to them. How much better looking they are than me, how much more fun it looks like they have than I do, how much more this guy I like must like them over me, etc. It’s remarkable how quickly it all happened. Before I even knew what was going on I’d devolved into this old, unhealthy way of thinking. I’m really glad I checked all of that out from her account before reactivating mine and sending him a friend request. I couldn’t handle much of more of that. I also couldn’t handle doing the same things with guys past who had much more of an impact on me than this one did. That would have been way more painful. Crisis averted.

I just ate a Ghirardelli Peppermint Bark chocolate bar. It was wonderful. I don’t feel guilty at all. Ok, I do feel a little guilty, but I’m going to let it go, which is not something I’d have been able to do even just a year ago. I’m grateful for the progress I’ve made on that front every single day.

I saw Kathy Griffin tonight. It was awesome. They were taping it for a Bravo special. Perhaps if you watch closely you’ll see me in the audience. Although, it’s also possible I’ll be on TV in the not so distant future. I went to a casting call for a reality tv show today and it went really well. Like really, really well. I don’t have a place on the show yet, but I’m pretty sure I’ll be advancing to the next round. Yay!