What an amazing day. I learned so much. I am finally beginning to understand what spirituality really is and boy do I ever want more of it. I have a feeling it’s going to take a while to process the past few days. I’ve only been here since yesterday morning, but I’ve already heard and learned so much. I’m so grateful to be having this experience.

I got to listen to an incredibly great man talk today. I was surprised to hear him say so many things about his life that run parallel to my own. One of the things he mentioned was our longest practiced way of feeling safe. For the life of me I can’t figure out what that would be. He also said trauma in your childhood is anything that is less than nurturing.

From the earliest point I can remember having suicidal thoughts. I don’t remember a time I had thoughts that didn’t also include ones that involved suicide. I was so incredibly sensitive that nearly anything could push me over the edge and make me want to kill myself, die, no longer be alive, etc. I wish I knew why that was. What trauma such a small child could have that would bring about reactions like that. Perhaps it’ll become clear to me sometime soon. My parents are both very loving and supportive.